Day # 33 --- The "Hurrying Myself" Character

Today I participated again in the same pattern of turmoil and anxiety due to time. Establishing some situations I have to deal in my reality as a trigger point that open-up these systems. And some of these due to distracting in other things and thinking and believing that  'I have time' then, I realize the time is over me and so, I participate in that turmoil...I again tensed and pushed myself within anxiety to complete the things I have to do - I perceive myself as slow and I react towards this so much.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/believe/perceive  me as slow when I am doing things and so I believe and also I feel I don´t have the enough time within my day and this is then the starting point within me to  start participating in anxiety and pressure over me. Instead of being here participating in my physical in equality and oneness with everything that is here as me.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and feel myself as slow when I am doing house-chores, or when I am doing other things - I realize, see and understand is my mind egos that are arising to distract me from here, from my reality and so  use me to feed mind systems within and as energy reactions and conflicts.
Whenever I see myself participating in anxiousness due to time - I stop, I Breathe, I calm down, I clear myself and I Bring my participation back to  the physical embracing everything as me. So I can walk in real-physical-time and not as the mind-time - that is timing my expression.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand how I have been compromising me as life-expression  due to following and participating the 'mind timing/measure/beating.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand how in following the mind I am measuring my self and so defining me as a mind consciousness system that is limited by time. 
I see, realize and understand that me as an expression of life has no time/measure


I only follow, I am, I participate in the beat/rhythm of life - that is the Breath of Life.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my breaths - and me as life - are not limited to a measure of time and so, 
Whenever and  as I see myself participating in hurries within the mind - I stop, I breathe, I clear myself and I return me into the physical - I stand as self-attention and I embrace everything I am doing as me - I am here as the tools I take to clean  the house, to write in my notebook etc.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts as distractions of what I am doing in the physical.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think 'I don´t have time' and 'I´ll not finish this in time' while I am knitting or translating, instead of being here as the tools I am using to knit and to translate as me
Whenever I see myself participating in these thoughts - I stop, I take a deep breath so I can slow myself and bring my participation here as my physical and the physical reality that is here as oneness and equality within and as myself - so I walk in real-physical-time - breath by breath. 
So, I see with my physical eyes, and I touch and live with my physical human body here.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that I create and establish this character that hurries all the time due to distractions and the pattern of giving value to things that are not practical in my reality and I spend my time as life in considering separation within myself - so if I stand as self-responsability I´ll realise/see that time is not a trigger point for me to worry and to abuse myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed in myself the point of time as a trigger point within myself that opens up inner conflicts and reactions such as hurries, worries, impatience, intolerance - that are polarities that generates and creates energy that is abusing me as life constantly and continuously.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise me within mind time - timing myself instead of working and doing things one breath at a time - so I can stand as certainty, as self-responsability with me and with all so, no space for 'waiting' and 'posponing' that leads me to hurry and worry --- so allowing and accepting the same patterns over and over again although I know the consequences.




I commit myself to stop this character that hurries all the time.
I commit myself to stop distractions and to only value practical things within my world and myself - practical points that assist me and support me within and as What is best for all Life.

Day # 32 - Me without Internet Character.

These days I  have been  without Internet connection - I don´t know what happened...
The Internet connection is not mine, is from my neighbours that 'nicely' let me to connect through their signal. 
And well, these days I was unplugged from this 'world' and I participated in a lot of worries and thoughts  - which I have been directing through writing and breathing - writing in my notebook to follow this journey...
The Characters I saw --was the ones that I recognize very well; the fears, the thoughts, the imaginations and the worries, and throwing me into 'drama'. I am yes, a dramatic character indeed when something is not the way I want.


Today I saw the Internet signal available and well, I´ll write here the context of all of which I have been experiencing these days; all these like a summary.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to panic when I don´t have Internet access at home - participating in sadness and in worries when I noticed I was unplugged and without having the opportunity to be plugged and to write in my blog and check my social communities which lead me to blame the system and so the life I have in which I don´t have the money to contract an Internet service for my own and so being without any worries on this matter - instead of being here directing myself in the physical and breathing. I see, realize and understand I don´t 'win' anything making a drama and a tantrum which are just mind egos and a way to abuse myself as life. 
Whenever I see myself participating in these tantrums I direct myself in the physical with the breath and I bring my participating back here to myself and I walk as simplicity and common sense.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in drama/tantrums when something in my reality is not happening as the image and perception I have in my mind, so these leads me to participate in energy reactions and inner-conflicts and so I manifest abuse and separation.
 Whenever I see myself participating in these energy reactions I stop, I direct myself and I stand as self-responsability and common sense and I stop.


I forgive myself that I haven´t  accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand the character I am personifying when I don´t have what I want/desire due to mind images and pictures which is the one I appeal when I was a child when I wanted something and due to these tantrums I always obtain what I wanted from others and so, these character are pre-programmed and induced due to self-interest and mind egos so I can have what my mind dictated me due to wishes/desires/wants.


So; I realize, see and understand how I have created this characters to get what I want due to mind egos and self-interest.


And so, I forgive myself that I  have accepted and allowed myself to have as a trigger point the Internet connection to manifest/create/participate in characters that are just feeding abuse and separation within me instead of being here as the physical and common sense to see, realize and walk the reality-situations in equality and oneness and so, remain here as life to walk and stand as Simplicity. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in inner-conflicts when I don´t have Internet access thinking and believing that I cannot do another thing or t asking myself what I would do without my Internet access - wasting time and breaths in the mind - so compromising life to a tool that is here to support me and to assist me instead of creating a conflict for me. So I realize and understand the pattern of obsessing myself with things that are near me.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that by participating in systems as obsessions I am separating me from myself and so from others and from all that is here as myself - I am so, compromising life by defining all/everything and everyone through the mind
So, Whenever I see myself placing things as more than me - and so entering in the obsessed character - I stop; I breathe; I direct myself in the physical and I calm myself. I walk and breath by breath I live.


I realise, see and understand how my mind as me creates relationships with all, everything and everyone due to insecurities and the separation I have allowed within and as myself. 
So I see and face the character that obsesses with all that is here to suck energy and so feed myself as Mind C systems.
I am here as Everything, As Everyone  As ALL - ONE - everything is me and all is here as me.


So I commit myself to move myself as the physical in my reality to see/face that I in every moment I have things to do - but not as separation - but as a realization that everything in the physical need my intervention to make things for what is best for all life. 


I am here as Self-Direction and I continue walking here - no matter what happens so,


I commit myself to continue writing and directing myself even I don´t have Internet in my  house - I commit myself to write and direct myself no matter my mind.