Day # 47 -- Moving Slowly

I have been noticing like doing things very slow - yesterday I was cleaning  my house as I usually do and I began observing me; my physical movements very slow I wanted to move more quickly but I couldn´t - well, I didn´t fight against this. I am was working also with tthis 'pace' I have - I use to move myself quickly - I walk quickly, I do things in a rush - due to my impatience, my body get tight and sometimes - due to this rush, I let things fall, I distract and well, I sometimes don´t remember where I put things and sometimes I have catched myself for example - keeping the bread on the refrigerator and the milk in the cupboard - LOL!

And as I say I have been observing me in slow motion and I get angry/intolerant with and towards myself 'cause I want to move faster and do things faster.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that I will not have time within and as my day to finish the things I have to do, due to participating in the mind imagining myself at the end of the day with nothing of my tasks and 'thinks I have to do'completed in time and  besides all having a 'time for myself'  to rest and is when I participate in back-chats as 'uff, I am not going to finish this in time', 'it´s a lot of work' and so establishing a physical consequence such as excitement, worry, desperation, I start sweating and I distract myself as the mind and I don´t do anything as the consequence I allow and create by thinking and creating all these time-loops and dimensions in my mind.

Instead of being here as the Physical and as the breath doing all the things I have to do in the 'presence of myself as myself here. 

Breath is the Pace of Life and within and as that Pace I am and I move myself and I get done what it has to be done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in fears of loss - believing that I am going to lose things if I move slower than my mind and If I am here as the breath of life, imagining myself moving slow and not completing anything of the things I have to do and so feel pressured and overwhelmed participating in back-chats such as ¡Faster,faster; move faster, Jessie move faster! and so abusing my body making it moving faster, and so due to this my hands get tight and heavy and for example I can´type efficiently because I am running inside me and the consequence is creating more time-loops, indeed more time as the mind and yes, what I 'loose' is opportunities to stand as the breath and the presence of myself here as life - because all my attention and power I give it to the mind to direct me and to control me.

Instead of me being here within and as the physical; Aware of every movement/moment I am in the presence of the Physical body.

So, Whenever I see myself going to the mind as thoughts, emotions, feelings, perceptions, images  when doing a task, walking, cleaning, typing, reading - I stop, I breathe immediately and accordingly I place myself here as the presence of me as the physical and I become aware of me as everything that is here - all the material things are here as me - so I embrace them and I move me as them - at  the same 'pace'/rhythm.  

I realise, see and understand that me as my mind is moving erratically and so abusing the presence of myself here. The mind makes me participate in the illusion of time and within this in the fear of loss. Time does not exist within and as me.

So, if time doesn´t exist I am here to enjoy the presence of me and the presence of everything and everyone as myself within and as my life.

So, I realise, see and understand that everything within myself as life has a pace and has a space -  for example within over -sleeping I am abusing the pace of life there cause I am not taking in consideration that time for another activities I have to do - is abuse 'cause I am keeping and stealing ,,,,,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to over-sleep due to feeling and thinking that I am loosing something that is 'mine' - I realise see and understand over-doing things is self-interest - I am exaggerating, I am abusing substance.

Everything  has a space/pace within and as myself.
So, I commit myself to investigate more this and to make a schedule also to place myself as the presence of myself within and as my day and so being me as the directive Principle and not the mind in illusions, perceptions, and ideas, thoughts.

...this will continue...

Day # 33 --- The "Hurrying Myself" Character

Today I participated again in the same pattern of turmoil and anxiety due to time. Establishing some situations I have to deal in my reality as a trigger point that open-up these systems. And some of these due to distracting in other things and thinking and believing that  'I have time' then, I realize the time is over me and so, I participate in that turmoil...I again tensed and pushed myself within anxiety to complete the things I have to do - I perceive myself as slow and I react towards this so much.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/believe/perceive  me as slow when I am doing things and so I believe and also I feel I don´t have the enough time within my day and this is then the starting point within me to  start participating in anxiety and pressure over me. Instead of being here participating in my physical in equality and oneness with everything that is here as me.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and feel myself as slow when I am doing house-chores, or when I am doing other things - I realize, see and understand is my mind egos that are arising to distract me from here, from my reality and so  use me to feed mind systems within and as energy reactions and conflicts.
Whenever I see myself participating in anxiousness due to time - I stop, I Breathe, I calm down, I clear myself and I Bring my participation back to  the physical embracing everything as me. So I can walk in real-physical-time and not as the mind-time - that is timing my expression.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand how I have been compromising me as life-expression  due to following and participating the 'mind timing/measure/beating.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand how in following the mind I am measuring my self and so defining me as a mind consciousness system that is limited by time. 
I see, realize and understand that me as an expression of life has no time/measure


I only follow, I am, I participate in the beat/rhythm of life - that is the Breath of Life.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my breaths - and me as life - are not limited to a measure of time and so, 
Whenever and  as I see myself participating in hurries within the mind - I stop, I breathe, I clear myself and I return me into the physical - I stand as self-attention and I embrace everything I am doing as me - I am here as the tools I take to clean  the house, to write in my notebook etc.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts as distractions of what I am doing in the physical.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think 'I don´t have time' and 'I´ll not finish this in time' while I am knitting or translating, instead of being here as the tools I am using to knit and to translate as me
Whenever I see myself participating in these thoughts - I stop, I take a deep breath so I can slow myself and bring my participation here as my physical and the physical reality that is here as oneness and equality within and as myself - so I walk in real-physical-time - breath by breath. 
So, I see with my physical eyes, and I touch and live with my physical human body here.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that I create and establish this character that hurries all the time due to distractions and the pattern of giving value to things that are not practical in my reality and I spend my time as life in considering separation within myself - so if I stand as self-responsability I´ll realise/see that time is not a trigger point for me to worry and to abuse myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed in myself the point of time as a trigger point within myself that opens up inner conflicts and reactions such as hurries, worries, impatience, intolerance - that are polarities that generates and creates energy that is abusing me as life constantly and continuously.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise me within mind time - timing myself instead of working and doing things one breath at a time - so I can stand as certainty, as self-responsability with me and with all so, no space for 'waiting' and 'posponing' that leads me to hurry and worry --- so allowing and accepting the same patterns over and over again although I know the consequences.




I commit myself to stop this character that hurries all the time.
I commit myself to stop distractions and to only value practical things within my world and myself - practical points that assist me and support me within and as What is best for all Life.