Day # 33 --- The "Hurrying Myself" Character

Today I participated again in the same pattern of turmoil and anxiety due to time. Establishing some situations I have to deal in my reality as a trigger point that open-up these systems. And some of these due to distracting in other things and thinking and believing that  'I have time' then, I realize the time is over me and so, I participate in that turmoil...I again tensed and pushed myself within anxiety to complete the things I have to do - I perceive myself as slow and I react towards this so much.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/believe/perceive  me as slow when I am doing things and so I believe and also I feel I don´t have the enough time within my day and this is then the starting point within me to  start participating in anxiety and pressure over me. Instead of being here participating in my physical in equality and oneness with everything that is here as me.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and feel myself as slow when I am doing house-chores, or when I am doing other things - I realize, see and understand is my mind egos that are arising to distract me from here, from my reality and so  use me to feed mind systems within and as energy reactions and conflicts.
Whenever I see myself participating in anxiousness due to time - I stop, I Breathe, I calm down, I clear myself and I Bring my participation back to  the physical embracing everything as me. So I can walk in real-physical-time and not as the mind-time - that is timing my expression.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand how I have been compromising me as life-expression  due to following and participating the 'mind timing/measure/beating.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand how in following the mind I am measuring my self and so defining me as a mind consciousness system that is limited by time. 
I see, realize and understand that me as an expression of life has no time/measure


I only follow, I am, I participate in the beat/rhythm of life - that is the Breath of Life.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that my breaths - and me as life - are not limited to a measure of time and so, 
Whenever and  as I see myself participating in hurries within the mind - I stop, I breathe, I clear myself and I return me into the physical - I stand as self-attention and I embrace everything I am doing as me - I am here as the tools I take to clean  the house, to write in my notebook etc.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts as distractions of what I am doing in the physical.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think 'I don´t have time' and 'I´ll not finish this in time' while I am knitting or translating, instead of being here as the tools I am using to knit and to translate as me
Whenever I see myself participating in these thoughts - I stop, I take a deep breath so I can slow myself and bring my participation here as my physical and the physical reality that is here as oneness and equality within and as myself - so I walk in real-physical-time - breath by breath. 
So, I see with my physical eyes, and I touch and live with my physical human body here.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that I create and establish this character that hurries all the time due to distractions and the pattern of giving value to things that are not practical in my reality and I spend my time as life in considering separation within myself - so if I stand as self-responsability I´ll realise/see that time is not a trigger point for me to worry and to abuse myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed in myself the point of time as a trigger point within myself that opens up inner conflicts and reactions such as hurries, worries, impatience, intolerance - that are polarities that generates and creates energy that is abusing me as life constantly and continuously.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise me within mind time - timing myself instead of working and doing things one breath at a time - so I can stand as certainty, as self-responsability with me and with all so, no space for 'waiting' and 'posponing' that leads me to hurry and worry --- so allowing and accepting the same patterns over and over again although I know the consequences.




I commit myself to stop this character that hurries all the time.
I commit myself to stop distractions and to only value practical things within my world and myself - practical points that assist me and support me within and as What is best for all Life.

Day # 30 -- My body and Me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel that my body is an external part or being of myself - feeling and believing that I am separated from my body, and my body is not  mine and this perceptions lead me to feel inadequate and uncomfortable with my body-  I realize I am establishing self abuse and separation.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to realize/see/understand the amount of separation I am accepting and allowing within me caused by my deliberate participation in my mind as egos.
When and as I see myself participating in feelings/emotions/perceptions in relation to my body I stop; I breathe and I correct myself. I am here as self-acceptance and I commit myself to be one and equal to my body.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to need/desire to have another body - because I feel and perceive myself as ugly and different from the rest of the people around me -specially women. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ugly.  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me as ugly, or as any other polarity.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the polarity of ugly/beautiful exists.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate and play within the comparison  construct/system programed inside me -comparing myself and also competing with myself to reach the image I have in my mind - which is better and more acceptable.
I realize that I am in constant participation within my mind and all it´s components instead of being here as Oneness and Equality - and also self-intimacy- with my physical and so; I am feeding and establishing separation, abuse and dishonesty. I stop and I stand as self-acceptance. I am self-acceptance
When and I see myself participating in systems as feelings, thoughts, emotions, ideas, perceptions - I Stop, I take a deep Breathe correcting myself here as the physical - embracing the physical as myself. I embrace me as Life and I accept me as Life. I bring my Participation here to myself as the physical and I face it. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have/experience resistances and conflicts  to see my body reflected in a mirror/ to see myself - my face- in the mirror cause I feel uncomfortable with my face and the way I look - cause I participate in needs/desires to change me to, to be different due to comparisons and due to the system demon programmed inside me which I am feeding and supporting without understanding and observing the amount of separation I am allowing within myself. 
When and as I see myself reacting to the image I see reflected in the mirror I stop. I Breathe. I bring  my participation back to myself as the physical. I see myself in the mirror stopping thoughts, feelings and emotions. I face myself and I breathe. I accept myself and I embrace myself. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed in myself separation -deifying the Mind and defying Life within me. 


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to realize I am defining myself as the mind - and this is cause I am not willing myself to face the reality and change it.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I fear facing me and the reality of myself due to my desires/wants and needs to protect my mind instead of Moving myself as the physical to Stand and Live as Life.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to realize and be self-honest and humble to accept that I am still protecting me as my mind - still having desires and needs to protect me so I can stay and remain in my comfort zone.
Instead of Standing as self Will and Self-Motivation to Stop these self-abuse and self-dishonesty and Say Till here no further.
I stand myself as self-will and self-motivation. I commit myself to assist myself with writing, self-corrective actions.




---to continue...

Day # 29 Self-Discipline to put in Order my Life

INTRO:
Writting myself every day has been the ¡¡ONLY!!thing in which I have been constant in all my life. 
When I realized this I said to myself - as a back-chat: How about school? and the job where you spent 4 years and a half working?
Yes, excuses and desires to say I have done something and so, evade all the 'dust above the carpet'.
In fact is that yes, I have been only constant in my 7 years Journey to Life - cause I also abandon things that I like - my desires and needs as a system.
So, I am realizing I can do it . The only solution is to ...Be the Solution and Stand as self-discipline.
So, I have been looking for a job and I haven´t had a good response and I am still unemployed. But I am - while I get one - selling my crochet dolls and accessories - I don´t earn a lot but is a help to buy my cats food and sand. I enjoy this but, like I said was also an activity which I started with excitement and I end up within a short time with boredom . I am starting that again due to friends requests to do more dolls for them.


Well, I´ll start my statements and there I´ll tell more about this ..Here I go.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  not being consistent with something  in my life due to participating in my mind as boredom, resistance, tiredness and energy movements inside myself. I realize I lived as self-sabotage all my life and doing things within mediocrity just to 'complete' things that  has to be done; but without any participation as self-responsability, honesty and care.
I realize that the mind has not discipline -principle and values - but I do have as Life. So I stand as Self-Discipline and Self-Responsability to be Here as Life and participate with care and be as an expression in every thing I do.


I  forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as tiredness, as depression and be one and equal to that systems. 
I realize I am not a system  - I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in tiredness and depression. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that tiredness and depression exists within and as me.
I stand as Common sense and as self-assistance and support to stand and correct myself when and as I see myself defining me as depression and tiredness I stop, I breathe and I correct myself - standing myself from that separation and abuse.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do things - to move myself within my reality - as depression, tiredness, boredom - as a system . I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to realize I am only feeding/supporting/assisting MCS and so that´s why I am not consistent and participating in resistances and conflicts inside myself. Instead of being here, Standing in every breath as self-consistency and self-discipline.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to realize I was only surviving as my mind - so, not being a life form in any way cause I have give my power away to systems and so I have let them be the directive force and principle within my life.
So, I step forth and I stand as self-direction, I take the place as my Principle and I assist and support myself with consistency, responsability and discipline.
Whenever I see myself participating in depression, tiredness, resistances and inner conflicts towards any activity I have to do in my reality I stop, I breathe, I correct myself in the moment of every Breath and I bring my participation here and I set myself as a platform from where to stand and be constant, so assisting and supporting  myself with the self-forgiveness statements, writing myself and correcting myself here as breath.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to access and participate in thoughts, feelings and emotions when I have to do a chore, an activity - like cleaning the house, cleaning and feeding my cats, knitting, instead of being here as breath and moving myself as the physical to do the things I have to do here in my reality. I move myself as an expression, enjoying me as life in every breath.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/perceive/feel that physical movement is a burden and I have to have a 'requirement' - such as energy - to do it, thinking and believing that I don´t have such requirement in some moments, so separating myself due to believing I am rechargeable. Also, realize with postponing things/ procrastinating I am only existing as mind C. systems and in the past. 
I stop feeding and supporting mind C. systems. I stand as self-movement and every moment I see myself participating in feelings, emotions and thoughts that imply burden, conflicts and resistances I breathe, I stand and I correct myself immediately. 
I stand as self-discipline and breath by breath I move and I place things in the correct order and place where they belong under the principle of doing what is best for all as life.




I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to realize/see/ understand how I have separated myself so much due to defining myself as a mind consciousness system so, don´t enjoying and accepting myself in any what what so ever due to remaining constantly and consistently judging myself, rejecting myself and abusing myself.
So, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reject me instead of standing as self-acceptance, being intimate with me, - being here with/as me in simplicity.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that between me  and me as life - is my mind which I have deified and believed was me - instead of seeing with my physical eyes what I really am and accepting myself as who I am.


I commit myself to stand as self-discipline and self-acceptance and to move myself as the physical to put in order me as life,


I commit myself to assist me and support me with self-forgiveness, writing, self -correction to stop walking the same patterns and behaviours.


I commit myself to Enjoy Myself as life


I Accept myself as Life
I am self-acceptance
I accept myself

Day # 21 --- I hate Being Myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate who I am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in hate against me.
I forgive myself that I  have accepted and allowed myself to create abuse within myself and towards myself feeling hate.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prefer mostly of the time being someone else and to pretend in my mind I am something different to bear a little bit with  who I am


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dislike the way I am, the way I am designed, the way I look, the way I talk, the way I walk, the way I smell, the way I participate within my life, the way I do things - hating everything I am.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive me as a failure because when I see myself I don´t see anything cool, nice, or extra-ordinary; thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept me with conditions, with definitions I believe as better than who I am as life and to place a veil infront my eyes to stop from facing myself as life and accept me in every breath.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look in others, values and behaviours I will want to have; as for example, Discipline, Responsability, commitment and feeling I don´t have that facility in me to improve as those words.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect Discipline, Responsability and Commitment  to a feeling of not being able to and feeling those words more than me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect discipline, responsability, commitment to fear of not being able to be one and equal to them.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself; to fear the way I am going to act and be in a certain situation.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and feel I don´t really know me at all; that´s why I have fear towards me and that´s why I prefer being alone or not making any promise and thus feeling I help more being away or apart from others, than being close.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear participating in things and with people because I fear I won´t be worthy; disciplined, committed, responsible as them.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in fears and to connect the word promise with fears


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in changes within my mood and to think my mood is what I am; to be defined by my mood changes.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in my feelings and emotions and to participate in polarities, cycles and in fluctuations based on energy.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in my emotions and feelings; feeling them so real that I feel I can´t stop them or direct me efficiently as others do, so that´s why I think and feel I wanna be someone else.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in insecurity and in fears towards myself and the way I would react in a certain situation.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in comparison and so compare myself to others in my world and participating in a desire to be as them and to participate in imaginations as illusions seeing myself as them thinking how different I would be if I were like the other people I know.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid compromises as I feel and think I am not going to be able to complete and to be the what others want.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel a desire to be as the other people think about me; not realizing in fact that I don´t know what other really think and want, but making assumptions in my mind about what others may think and would think about me if I don´t do something or if I do something.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to force me to be as the image I have in my mind as the one I will and would have been; thus disregarding me in every act, in every movement I do.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly being invalidating me, participating in fears and in bringing back my past; thinking that if I didn´t did something as I defined as good I am not going to do it correct again; so I desist in trying; thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive me as a failure, to feel I am not able, and within that placing myself below others and so, participating in energy as polarities, mood changes and insecurities.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in my thoughts and to impose them in my reality.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have no character.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in instability within myself.










I stop participating in hate towards myself. I stop my pattern of participating in feelings of invalidation towards myself. I stop insecurities and feelings I can't be and stand as Commitment, Responsability and discipline.
I stop participating  and feeding the image I have in my mind about myself. I let go that Image that is limiting me. I let go limitations, I let go control and fears.




When and as I see myself participating or equalizing myself in the pattern of perceiving myself as a burden I stop, I breathe, I clear myself . I bring my participation to my physical reality and to my physical body and I embrace me as all I am here as Life. I touch myself, I face myself and I accept and allow myself to BrEathe.


When and as I see myself thinking and feeling I want to be someone else and to change who I am I stop, I breathe, I bring myself back here and I face myself. I realize I am in fact in the  process of change but not as a way of abusing myself or as eliminating my self but as a way to assist and support me to enhance values and principles I have and to live more as myself to do what is best for all as life and I accept this is a process and I direct myself to stop falling and If I fall I will learn from that fall to keep myself standing more and more until I have no other movement as energy within myself; the only movement is  the physical movement and I move myself to stand as what is best for all.


I commit myself to walk as Self-Responsability, self Commitment and self-Discipline.
I commit myself to improve myself breath by breath and stop judgements and comparisons that are like rocks in my way and that´s why I fall.


I commit myself to assist others as myself without the limitations I place upon me as fears and thoughts.


I am Here
I am Self-Acceptance


I give so I may Receive


I face my Reality as myself.

Day 15 --- Ego; I unlock myself

Writing all days has been a great tool for me. I have been observing more spaces where I 
didn´t wanted to see in my past writtings.
I am surprised every day with the things I discover of myself and well, another point I was not observing clearly is my egos...I still have them, and I participated within them when I take a pause within my process.
Ok, I´ll start  my SF cause is the best way to expose everything.




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress my egos by feeling ashamed of them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of my egos so, instead of facing them I suppress them in the deepest of me - like hiding them under the rug.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of my egos and that´s why I don´t want to expose them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed of exposing me here.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a mechanism of protection and defence and not realizing this is a form of supporting ego.
I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and realized that in defending and protecting me from others I am participating in Mind egos - I forgive myself that I  have accepted and allowed myself to present myself as hard and tough towards myself and others without realizing I was the  personification of my egos.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and realized that fearing to be harmed by others is another face of my egos.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a personality that is strong and though to protect me and hide my insecurities - so, another face of my ego.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior due to the knowledge and information I have gathered trough all this years, information that is not very common between the people I know so I used and use this information to criticize others in my mind.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse life - me and others - through using Knowledge and information to make me feel superior to others.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to back-chat about others using the information I have gathered and placing me as better than others in my mind and in my 'facade' = fake-presentation of myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build a fake presentation of myself to pretend I am strong like others and so, with me building a fake presentation participating in my fears of not being 'good enough' and also weak.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel weak.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in weakness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as weak.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build this personality to hide the real me. I forgive myself that I  have accepted and allowed myself to fear presenting to others the real me cause I perceive I will be harmed and abused.


I forgive myself that I haven´t realized that this is making me feel unworthy of sharing with others - so, taking me to Isolation - instead of letting all control and egos and share with others as myself as One and Equal to life.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself as One and Equal to others - I am one and equal to everyone here and there´s no need to protect me, there is no need to keep myself locked inside myself.


I commit myself to use the Self-Honesty, Self-forgiveness, self-corrective applications as a Key to un-lock what I Really am. Stopping all fears of being Me - stopping all justifications and excuses within me and letting Go the control I have placed over me.


I commit myself to expose my back-chats in every breath and to equalize me as one and equal to others, to life and stopping my participation within Egos.
I realize there is no need to protect me and still participating in my mind cause the Reality is not what I have perceived and feel.


I stop following my emotions, thoughts, feelings and I Place myself here as One and equal to Life.
I accept myself. I give myself the opportunity to be here.




Helpful links:
God Created Ego -- day 15


Reptilians- The Road Ahead part # 2