Día # 49 -- Preferences

Ok, so continuing with the post I did yesterday - and reading it again...the next post I will be taking again is in relation to anger/impatience/suppressions as I see them coming back again at me - not completely directed.

Ok - due to the sore throat I had I began with these fears in relation to getting sick of something worse due to not controlling this energy within me - as I have heard that many illness and diseases can be created if one does not stop this - as for example cancer or illness in the liver...I fear that a lot.

so, well, I ´ll be opening those points here. Is like, me controlling myself within the fear of not getting sick and so, creating here another character/dimension - doing the process since the starting point of fears - to avoid not getting sick or being worse, or a bad person...

ok, I´ll start

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in anger within and as my life when I see something as a threat to my mind - as something that is moving my belief of stability and comfort zone - like for example having to do things as cleaning the house of dog and cat poops.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that comfort zones exists within and as myself - where I can hide and suppress things so I can face them and work with them in the moment.
I realise, see and understand that beliefs are a point of self-interest, where I can make-up things to use it for my convenience and so not for What is Best for Everyone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anger within and as the situation of having to do things as cleaning my pet´s wastes, clean the house - on my own - without 'the help' of others, participating in the back-chats
* 'If it wasn´t for me this house will be more dirty', and going to the dimension of imagination where I see me in a job or away from home and asking how my mom is going to take care of the house - in relation to cleaning - if I am not here. Not considering other points where my mom assist me and supports me without any reaction and preference.
I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that these reactions and energetic movements inside me are created/originated due to the self-interest I am still holding on to inside of me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react and get angry when I have to help with something and then I immediately create the back-chat 'and you? what are you doing?' that expose and DEMONstrate that I am still standing in self-interest grounds/arenas and I am not doing things since the Principle that is best of All within and as myself and within everyone in this reality that is me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel desperate and anxious when I see my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive and to see my life as a trigger point to feel fearful, desperate and anxious.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value and importance over polarities, desires, ideas, images in my mind that are not the Physical Reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within an emotional experience of anger, desperation and anxiousness when I see my house cause I want/desire to have it 'clean'/in order'/impeccable' and due to my pets I can have it that way - I realise, see and understand the guilt I am portraying upon other beings cause I am not directing myself - I see the 'trouble' is in me, not in others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have preferences over things within and as my life as myself - I realise, see and understand Everything that is here is me and Life has not preferences.
Preferences are not Part of what is best for All as Life.

So, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give power and value, and attention to self-interest/preferences/choices within and as myself - I realise, see and understand that me as life is not a choice - Is me standing as Oneness and Equality; I mean as the only choice that Exists here to Do and Create a better world/environment for me and for others.

So, When and as I see myself reacting and feeling angry, desperate and anxious in relation to how my life is - I stop, I breathe and I stop those energetic movements and systems inside me. These movements are not who I am.
The only movement that is here within and as me is my Physical Movement I am and Do within building myself and my environment within the Principle of What is Best for All - here.

The Movement I am as breath is Real - The Physical Movement I take when I write, when I correct myself as Breath. The Physical Movement I take to assist and support others within my reality is the Only Movement I am and I do.

I´ll continue....

Investigate: Desteni.org

Día # 43 -- My Deliberate/Intentional Character

de·lib·er·ate:

1. Done with or marked by full consciousness of the nature and effects; intentional: mistook the oversight for a deliberate insult.

2. Arising from or marked by careful consideration: a deliberate decision. See Synonyms at voluntary.

3. Unhurried in action, movement, or manner, as if trying to avoid error.

1. To think carefully and often slowly, as about a choice to be made.

2. To consult with another or others in a process of reaching a decision.

Deliberate, intentional...."Acting without considering others and ourselves within our acts....

I haven´t observed at that word until today reading Sunette´s Facebook state updates. It was a cool assistance.
Through reading them again and this words - A memory came to my memory when I was a child and I felt a lot of envy of a friend that was able to climb trees ´cause she was more thin than me and I was not physically able to do it - I was a bit fat and also a coward to climb to high trees lol.
So, while she was hanging in the tree I took her legs and I pulled her down and she fall down. She get harmed - obviously. She broken her arms - or I better say I broke her arms and she had to be a lot of time without able to move. 

I don´t remember much - as I could say that I have 'selective' memory and I don´t recall the results - I mean, what was my reaction. I don´t remember feeling anything, I just remember knowing how I acted - deliberately - and with the intention of harming her due to my emotions of envy/jealousy. 
She is still my friend, she forgave me and when she used to brought the point up I felt ashamed and surprised about myself - cause it was something I did possessed by my emotions and thoughts.

So, is cool that this memory came due to observing this words - cause is the way we accept and allow to act. Although we know the consequences we choose to act - in deliberateness  - intentionally doing things we know the results and we continue doing and we supress and we blame others and we don´t want to see.

How many times I have acted like this? Many! 
Cause in deliberateness I have chosen to believe, think and feel that nothing is going to happen if I act this way - if I act the way others act...nothing is going to happen if I don´t speak or I don´t stand. Although within myself I know the consequences, although within I know what my Secret mind is saying - I prefer not seeing and realizing.

And so, Intentionally we Act and we are Destroying Life! 

And within Self-Honesty I have to stop this deliberate acts and Compromise Myself to do Deliberate Actions that can Bring - and will - A change within me and within others so we can Assist and Support Life.




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act within deliberateness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create this character that deliberate and intentionally acts within and as self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act intentionally - to harm intentionally to satisfy a thought, an emotion, a feeling a picture in my mind without considering anyone and anything within and as that act. 

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make plans within my secret mind to harm others, to harm myself within and as my physical body just to satisfy a desire, a need, and ego from the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed in myself thoughts, feelings and emotions  in the back of my head as plans, information and knowledge to harm, to support the mind, to separate myself from others as myself and from myself.

I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to realise, see and understand that within me acting deliberately - I am participating in a thought and also in defence mechanisms to not consider others but just myself in every action I take and do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress  the truth of my actions and the consequences of the action that I am doing in deliberateness due to fears and due to following and energetically reward that is known as emotions and feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act intentionally so I can have the attention and the acceptance of others.

I commit myself to stop deliberate abuse acts within myself. 
I commit myself to act within the Principles of What is best For All and within this observing and considering Everything as Myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to thing and believe that to act within the deliberate act of what is best for all is boring and will take a lot of time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberate and intentionally I discourage myself. I realise is the mind talking to me and placing a defence mechanism within me so I cannot stand and act in the physical.


I realise that the Mind makes you act Intentionally in polarities. 
Because I can act 'Intentionally' to Create  a Better world, to make a Change, standing within and as myself as Self-honesty, assisting and supporting myself with writing, self-forgiveness applications, Self-corrective Actions - which is the more 'important' cause I realise that without taking action, without correcting myself in the physical I am creating another character as the mind.


Note:
*De-Liberada-Mente:
Liberada: released
Mente: Mind


This will continue...

Day#35 -- My Character as an Animal Rescuer. How I create alter-egos

So, I have been observing this character within myself and is taking a step foward to work with it within these days ... hehe.
The article taking about Animal Fetishism and also this Dutch female artist that make toys and articles killing animals have been a trigger point within myself to participate in anger, sadness etc. I have written a lot of SF related to this and the day I read that article I end my day watching a movie that make me go into possession in relation to this points also.


Here I am sharing my Self-Forgiveness about all these....


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in anger and in sadness when I see within the media animal abuse where I feel this desire and wants of making to the abusers the same things they do to animals to make them see what they are doing.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realise and understand that I am equally responsible as the ones I define as 'the abuser' and I am also equal and one to them. I realize they are my alter-egos - I create them due to participating in mind polarities in placing myself as the protector as the rescuer so the opposite has to be created for me to have this systems in me.


So I commit myself to stop polarities within myself so I an stop creating 'alter-egos' within and as me in this world.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that I cannot say a word 'cause I am responsible for the abuse caused outside in the world - is hypocritical that I place myself as a character that protects animal rights when I am accepting and allowing inequalities within me such as laziness, procrastination, anger. I realise that I am part of the problem and not part of the practical solution.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself I see/realise/understand that I create  this character that rescues animals based on fears and this needs and desires to protect - I realise that it would not be necessary to protect any one and anything living in a system that sees and take care for everyone within and as equality and oneness. The mind produces danger for everyone as life because it has polarities and back-doors, such as choices.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel anger towards the whole humanity for the abuse accepted and allowed towards animals, nature, human beings also without realising the way I participate in the same patterns and behaviours that feeds the system we have now so in creating this character that rescues animals I am just assisting the mind C. systems and not life as what Life really entails and it is - due to accepting and allowing these emotions and feelings that gives 'life' to this character without realising the reality but just realising the reality as the mind.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand the abuse I inflict on and towards life when I accept and allow to create a character that is supporting the Mind C. Systems as fears, needs, desires, insecurities.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand the dishonesties, the separation and the abuse I am creating by defining myself as this character that is against animal abuse and that is supporting animal rights without realising how I create this alter-egos that are acting - as in the movies - as the contrary part of myself and in such polarity I am feeding and supporting the abuse, the reality that I reject and resist. So I  realise I am not different I am equal and one with the abuser and so I am responsable.


So as Equally Responsible I commit myself to stop this polarity game as my Mind C. Systems and be here as my physical in the physical assisting and supporting myself with writing, self-forgiveness and corrective applications to stop this and all characters I have created by believing I am the mind


So, Me as Equally Responsible I stop within and as myself these characters - the bad and the good as myself so they can be a danger to Life.
I realise I establish situations of danger and the opposite which is the same line by participating in my mind


I commit myself to step-out this characters so I can honor life for real.


I commit myself to stop myself as the animal rescuer character that is not supporting common sense and equality and oneness.

Day 15 --- Ego; I unlock myself

Writing all days has been a great tool for me. I have been observing more spaces where I 
didn´t wanted to see in my past writtings.
I am surprised every day with the things I discover of myself and well, another point I was not observing clearly is my egos...I still have them, and I participated within them when I take a pause within my process.
Ok, I´ll start  my SF cause is the best way to expose everything.




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress my egos by feeling ashamed of them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of my egos so, instead of facing them I suppress them in the deepest of me - like hiding them under the rug.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of my egos and that´s why I don´t want to expose them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed of exposing me here.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a mechanism of protection and defence and not realizing this is a form of supporting ego.
I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and realized that in defending and protecting me from others I am participating in Mind egos - I forgive myself that I  have accepted and allowed myself to present myself as hard and tough towards myself and others without realizing I was the  personification of my egos.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and realized that fearing to be harmed by others is another face of my egos.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a personality that is strong and though to protect me and hide my insecurities - so, another face of my ego.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior due to the knowledge and information I have gathered trough all this years, information that is not very common between the people I know so I used and use this information to criticize others in my mind.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse life - me and others - through using Knowledge and information to make me feel superior to others.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to back-chat about others using the information I have gathered and placing me as better than others in my mind and in my 'facade' = fake-presentation of myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build a fake presentation of myself to pretend I am strong like others and so, with me building a fake presentation participating in my fears of not being 'good enough' and also weak.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel weak.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in weakness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as weak.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build this personality to hide the real me. I forgive myself that I  have accepted and allowed myself to fear presenting to others the real me cause I perceive I will be harmed and abused.


I forgive myself that I haven´t realized that this is making me feel unworthy of sharing with others - so, taking me to Isolation - instead of letting all control and egos and share with others as myself as One and Equal to life.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself as One and Equal to others - I am one and equal to everyone here and there´s no need to protect me, there is no need to keep myself locked inside myself.


I commit myself to use the Self-Honesty, Self-forgiveness, self-corrective applications as a Key to un-lock what I Really am. Stopping all fears of being Me - stopping all justifications and excuses within me and letting Go the control I have placed over me.


I commit myself to expose my back-chats in every breath and to equalize me as one and equal to others, to life and stopping my participation within Egos.
I realize there is no need to protect me and still participating in my mind cause the Reality is not what I have perceived and feel.


I stop following my emotions, thoughts, feelings and I Place myself here as One and equal to Life.
I accept myself. I give myself the opportunity to be here.




Helpful links:
God Created Ego -- day 15


Reptilians- The Road Ahead part # 2