Day # 61 -- I want to Craft Character - part 2

Ok, here I continue with the past blog that was:

" I want to Craft Character"

Yesterday I had time to made some crafts - and well, I observe more dimensions here - as for example the positive energetic reactions I have when I am doing them - I realise in having this reactions as Positive energetic sensations as polarities I am not here in the moment of my physical movements and I am not here present in every moment as the process I am walking to get the craft done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel good/ to feel I am 'doing something important within my life/with my day/ with the moments I am doing the crafts and I participate in the back-chat of " I want to do this all my life" within this not giving importance to the reality that is here as me, to the other responsibilities I have to complete within and as me, only by being there as an energetic possessed character that only sees what I doing here as self-interest participating in desires/wants to not being bothered with other mundane points as when my mom says to me "Search for a job in the web instead of being there just wasting my time' or 'those things don´t generate money do something that generates money'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself within a point that is feeding my self-interest and using an activity to distract myself and to feed my mind - Instead of doing it without energetic dependencies - Just Me here in Every breath.

Let´s say "Free" to Enjoy Myself in every breath with no other suppressions and points of postponement. I mean - when I have all the things done - the priority ones completed I can do the things I have as extracurricular points....

Here I am not saying that I rush in the other things to have time for me to feel free and do what I want - no - and also I am not defining my tasks within a polarity of fun and not fun, or the things I like and the ones I don´t.

So; I commit myself to walk all the things I have here in my reality within and as Self-Responsability and Self-attention and also stop Moving myself in a rush so I can 'clean my hands' of the ones I have to do first so I can be 'free' to do the others I like more...

So Here, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define things/activities/tasks/things that I do for others as less important and within and as the things I do for me I feel and experience myself as free, as like If I am doing something for me .
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the activities I do for others as something I am not doing it for me - Instead if Being here as me in every activity and realising that everything Here is ME! and I am all that is here - One and equal to myself.

When and as I see myself separating me from the activities I do - I stop, I breathe and I Embrace everything I do as myself and I do them with that Consideration, Self-responsability.


So Here I Realise, see and Accept that Everything is here - I stop Separating me as Individual from all the things I do, from all the things I walk as the physical - Nothing is a separated point. Everything is here and so, I realise, see and understand that every thing I do is a part of me and so, my mind is the one that is making a difference and a separation making me believe that I am a separate individual that is alien to this world and reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am a separated matter from all the things/persons/activities/tasks I do here in my reality and in world and so accepting and allowing that my mind constantly and continuously tells me that I am special, or that I am giving my job as a gift and so thinking that anyone is going to appreciate it..

The other Point I see here is that I place in me a Defence Mechanism and that I am 'Alert' as the mind - participating in that character that is "If this and then this".
Instead of moving myself unconditionally and genuine in every moment.


Ok, the next point I´ll be walking this - the point that unfolds from all this - the point of thinking and feeling that I am Giving my work - as free - making my job for free expecting an award if is not of people - of Life. An Award from Life - ' a good person character' --wow! a lot of dimensions here LOL!

ok, I´ll continue.!!

Day # 57 -- Who I am within the Postponement Character

I was reading the Blog Post in the Heaven´s Journey to Life "Character Dimensions-Thought Dimensions Day 164" and I observed that I have to write more about this character in me - I am making a parenthesis from my last blogs due to observing that this part within and as me needs clarifications so that I can move efficiently from now on forward.
I felt regret by getting out of my last job - I get very anxious due to my recurrent respiratory problems which was an indicator of not stopping efficiently my mind as emotions and feelings - all this related to postponements within my life

¡Argh! Well, no regrets and I am here commiting myself to unreveal this dimension within me.
I have been searching for jobs and anyone has appeared; I am in the polarity of not worrying and worrying - cause I know I´ll find one and in the other hand I need to get one now; so I can support me within my life and my immediate responsibilities that are my cats; well, I think of them in the first place cause they don´t have any fault in me accepting and being like the way I am accepting and allowing to be and because they are dependant on me and so to Money and so to the food I can buy with that money...

So, I have this plan in my head. I see that wanting to 'survive' doing art and knitting is not based in common sense and doing what is best for all; doing what is best for me : just self-interest and suppressions.
So, I am in the quest for a job and completing my studies. Here I have doubts as continuing with Graphic Design or Homoeopathy which I am attracted to; but it will show in the way...

This is something I am grateful for to the Desteni I Process and walking this blogs daily - I have been standing slowly but surely from this characters and stopping time loops and consequences so; I am really letting aside this behaviours of letting things to accumulate and I walk through them in the moment.

Within this days I have seen myself within doing my assignments and tasks - participating in my mind with needs, pictures and thoughts of doing another things first and postponing; letting things for a better moment. So, I have been breathing through this a lot!!! haha

I realised that I have been disciplined - which is something that I considered/believed/thought was not programmed in me. LOL! I see, realise and understand now you can Live without the mind.

So, as I say I have a long way to walk and being here at my house has been a great assistance in moving myself with no other 'Force' - as like other one telling me what to do. I mean, yes, my mom ask me for help but I have seen I have to move and complete things and stop postponing cause the Physical Reality is not going to fix alone LOL; So I have seen that I am missing in this Reality as Life! So I push myself to move and well, I am not willing to continue resisting and suppressing me and my reality!!

So, as I say this Character needs to be more worked and walked.

And these Journey To Life Blogs, the Creation Journey to Life, Earth´s Journey to Life ! and many others!!!!! has been a great assistance to see that I can and is Possible! Yes! :-)


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate and follow the thoughts as images in my mind when I do tasks here at my house/when I know I have to do things in order to support me in my life; such as cleaning my room, cleaning the house, walking with my dogs, doing my assignments and the tasks I have compromised to do in the moment that says me that the things I am about to do are boring and so, influencing me to them later/postpone.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the things I have to complete in the moment in which there is a compromise entailed as boring, not important - saying and entailing here that the things in and as my mind are more important.

So this connects to the points that I have been walking in the last blogs - where I give value and importance to my mind than Moving myself as the Physical. Being here as the Physical taking Responsability for My Actual Living in this Reality/in my environment.


"This is an example of where the “Force” will step in as the Mind as ourselves, as we’ve as ENERGY/Consciousness manifested ourselves with ‘self/energy serving protection/defence mechanisms’ that any opportunity that would bring forth a Self-realization/awareness / Physical Stability/Living will immediately be resisted, as what we have done/become throughout our Lives is always SERVING ENERGY/the Mind as Consciousness instead of ourselves, the physical body and so this Physical Existence as a whole. And so, we’ve become energy consumers, serving energy – instead of physical living beings, taking responsibility for our actual living in this world/reality"--Sunette Spies in the Heaven´s Journey to Life Day 163


So I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define things according to mind polarities such as fun/boring - I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive/see cleaning my house as Boring or as Fun - I realise, see and understand that here again I am placing value and importance to the mind - and I am allowing and accepting separation within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the thoughts - one single thought - move me from here as my Physical Reality, defining my participation here and so being influenced by that thought and moving myself to feed my mind as energy - I see, realise and understand that I am giving my power away to the mind in letting me being moved by the unconscious mind/thoughts and not Moved by what it is here as the physical reality

I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that I move myself only if my mind tell me so, and If the physical as Life tells me to Move as what is best for All life I stop and I think in self-interest.

There - I see, realise and understand that in the mind we are sacrificing Life, betraying Life, giving Power to the Mind -- thinking before acting - so; defending ourselves as self-interest.

When and as I see myself when being infront of an activity within and as my physical reality and I observe that me as my Mind is Resisting and so I start creating/participating in thoughts as images of me being somewhere else - I stop, I breathe and I Place myself here as the Presence of myself and I continue doing what I am doing - Breathing and Stabilizing here as myself/Supporting Myself in the mean time I am experiencing in the physical the manifested consequence as sleepiness, heaviness and resistance.

I breathe within and as this thoughts as Images - I embrace them as Me.

I see, realise and understand these are the mind mechanisms to Separate me from here as the Physical Reality.
So, I stop giving my Power Away to those Mind Consciousness Systems - I realise they are not what I am - they cannot influence me cause they are not real.

I commit myself to Stop me as my thoughts and to Walk here as Breath to assist me and support me in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by the mind and to perceive the MCS as more than me within the belief system that I don´t have power over my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone things due to following my mind as thoughts and images so - going there instead of Being Here - Present in Every Moment of Each Breath I take, Present in Every Physical Movement I take, Present in every task, in every activity I do here.

When and as I see myself defining my reality according to what my mind says - like for example; believing that my life is boring, that what I do is boring and so my mind then in continuation to this places a picture in my mind where I am resting/seeing a movie; Doing Nothing - I breathe, I place myself here. I touch myself; I stabilize myself in what I am doing and I continue working and doing my activities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect a positive feeling with being in my bed resting watching television and so, Doing nothing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place value within and as the physical experience of being in my bed, resting and doing nothing.

I see, realise, and understand this is nothing but Energy- the Force as the Mind Trying to obtain my Power.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place a value and an importance to being in my bed resting and feeling sad and angry if this experience goes away and so I want/need and desire to obtain more of this.

I realise, see and understand that me as the mind needs, desires, and wants to get more energy so the Mind can have control, power and Food - letting me as Life, as the Physical Body without resources to sustain.

When and as I see myself placing a positive value/negative value upon things according how the mind wants me to be and when and as myself perceive, think and define 'doing nothing ' as positive and nice and I feel that I am giving away to the experience of laying and doing nothing. I stop, I breathe, and I Place myself here as the presence of myself.

I commit also to investigate when I am really 'tired' as the physical so I can support it with a rest - but not over resting and connecting this to Mind Systems

I´ll continue

Day # 53 --- Giving Credit and Value to the Mind

This Blog is a continuation from yesterday Blog: 

Day # 52 -- This Character that Analyse Everything - " So deep in my Mind"

So - I am taking the first paragraph I wrote: in that paragraph I wrote points in relation to how I define myself, how different people within my life has reacted to me and my life the same way I have reacted to my life and myself., my relationship with people my back-ground so to speak within this. 
I remind me as alone, as shy and as fearful of giving myself to others due to this 'complex' of being fat; having a different body and a different way to approach people and life. I mean, -- as my program infused from my family is = serious, as I have shared I don´t like saying 'bad words' ( as I was thought as that), I search to be honest with people, clear, without 2 sides, compassionate, careful, sometimes very talkative and childish - I distract myself a lot due to wanting to play within serious environments. And well, these are some characters and personalities I have created and expressions that I have limited, killed within myself due to being harmed, due to being ridiculed and being isolated. 

Ok, this points are the result/the consequence of me defining myself and separating myself. Not accepting myself and nullifying me.

As If i continue nullyfing me, negating me, comparing and resisting being who I am without fear I will Live this and also I´ll find people that will going to reflect this towards me; rejections, critics, mockery.


The base of all these has created this personality - and more that I am going to walk in here - as the Pleasing Others Character - and so leaving ME aside and so Nullifying  me.



Self - Forgiveness


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel and defining myself as different from the rest of the people cause I believed, accepted and allowed definitions within and as myself that other people within my past - in my childhood years -  used to call me to make fun of me, to make me feel less than them and so be accepted by the society as a way to protect themselves and to be part of the system without realizing this words of separation was not about me, was about them, their acceptances, allowances the way they define themselves and others through the mind - so me  due to not knowing if this was  true or false I accepted it as normal within and as myself and I gave 'credit and value' to the words, to the approach of others towards me and so I created this dimension within and as myself as separation where I like unfolded from me and  I created a separate manifestation of me that was seeing me as a 'viewer' and so being part of the people that was offending me - so within this I began being part of the others as this separation and abuse - placing me within and as a 'den'  inside my mind - so nullifying me as who I am - and this created the Personality as Jessie and the being that was inside in that 'den' was holding to this desire, want and need to close it´s eyes and to stop watching what was I due to giving credit and value to others as giving value and credit to the external - to the mind - instead of being here, as the presence of myself - seeing me and communicating this I was experiencing and happening within and as myself as to receive assistance and support to establish more self-trust

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to really believe that I was the definitions others gave me and I didn´t wanted to find out if I was them or not - all I was seeing was  me through the eyes of other people and so giving them credit to them as a belief that this was my 'cross' within this life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel different cause I was fat, due to this inequality and lack of acceptance towards fat people, believing that if I was not thin and pretty I was not worthy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me within polarities as pretty and ugly and so giving value and credit to this words in separation of myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect  the word ugly to sadness, to isolation, to ideas of belonging in that categories and so connecting the word pretty as something I wanted to be and reach, so to be more accepted within and by my classmates and so live in peace without this constant abuse as bullying I receive of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to participate in  needs/wants and desires to turn myself in a pretty girl or being more thin to be accepted and allowed by others in my past - and now in this moments to be accepted by myself so I can like forget all this abuse and bad moments and experiences of my past.

I realise that the consequence I accepted through giving value and so  not letting all that experiences in my past is living now as my own warden/abusive person that is constantly and continuously criticizing and defining every thing I do under the same images, ideas and perceptions that others have of me.
I mean now I am those boys and girls that in my past were calling me by names and with ugly words.
And no only to me - but I am as them towards others. 

I see, realise and understand that the people in my world as my classmates  and friends was the reflection of this creation - this 'Me' as a Personality that was as this warden keeping me away from standing and taking Responsability for myself and so communicating also what was happening - So this ward was like offering me to the nets of the system preferring to stay silent than to Stand as Self-Trust and as Self- esteem to Stop this abuse I was accepting and allowing due to giving credit and value to others.

I see, realise and understand how due to the fears we have to be alone we accept and allow -within our childhood years at the school or when we are knowing other people - to sacrifice life and to separate life from within us due to be part of something and so denying who we are as Life. 

I commit myself to look for this being that is locked inside me and to ask it Forgiveness so that We can stand here as Self-Trust and Self-esteem and so realising, accepting and allowing to live the capacity I have and I am as Life.

I commit myself to cut this relationship within and as my past to Remain Clear here and so to walk free from those memories I used to bring to here as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value and credit to abuse and to words that are created to separate  me from myself as Life; so, giving more value and credit to systems that what are here as me as life.
I also forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use/manipulate/abuse substance - the physical substance as words to abuse myself - giving value to ideas, perceptions, definitions of the people and of me that are programmed within and as me and not investigated within self-honesty to realise, see and understand how I am accepting abuse within and as myself.

I realise, see and understand the consequences I have created due to this acceptances and allowances that are the creations of more dimensions where I have limited myself as self-expression and I have approached me to others based in my past-experiences, believing, thinking and feeling that all the people are the same and that I have to protect myself from people and to be careful of being me cause in some way, in some moment people can harm and betray.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to approach people due to my experiences of the past.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not approach people within and as oneness and equality due to perceptions, ideas, fears I have imprinted, and I have programmed within myself due to past experiences I had with people.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that my life - that me as life is an experience - I am not an experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, to create the idea and perception within and as myself that people is bad/good, that I have to take care of people, protect of people and to measure my words and actions towards them due to fears of what they will think and perceive about me - I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself and thus, I forgive  myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own fear that is people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be seen as crazy by other people and so being left alone, without people, isolated  and so I have preferred to be seen as normal  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect being normal with being accepted and being abnormal with being isolated from the human race - I realise, see and understand that I don´t know what is normal/abnormal. This words are just mind interpretations and polarities.


I commit myself to stop defining myself according to the past: where I commit myself to approach every life - people, me, everything - within and as oneness and equality and not based in past experiences and in relation with images of my mind

I commit myself to stand clear of images, of past experiences, of memories. So I can live Here as the Presence of myself without resemblances of what I am as my Mind.


i´ll continue

Day# 42 --Characters of my day

Well, yesterday when I was going to write my Internet go away - it unplugged - I participated for a little in 'fear of loss' , anxiety and impatience. I have worked with this points in previous blogs and now I can observe them come and stop them more effectively - I remember when I started in Desteni I became possessed by the anger 'cause the internet was not constant and I had to move from one space to another within my house. Now I breathe and I stand and I move to do another thing/activity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in anger when the Internet signal goes away, being within and as the thought of me not writing my daily post entry and so getting anxious and back-chatting:
* 'what are others are going to say' - that I fail again'.
* I am behind others due to my Internet, I wish I had money to have my own service.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create/participate in back-chats that are sabotaging myself - within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed in me self-sabotage in the ways of thoughts, emotions, feelings, words in separation of myself, mind images of others in my head, back-chats, I realise see and understand that my mind do that as a defence-mechanism and is not what I am in fact. So, whenever I see myself hearing those back-chats and perceiving them as real I stop, I breathe, I realise me as the physical - as what is Real. And I continue walking and expressing myself here within and as the physical. 
So, I am here within and as myself in equality and oneness to  my physical - seeing/observing the situation with common sense and doing another thing that I have to do within my daily activities. Stopping myself as my thoughts, feelings and emotions and being here as Self-Movement, as a Practical being - one that doesn´t waits but acts within every situation based in What is best for me. In this case what is best for me is standing out of my mind and moving in to the next moment. Simple.

I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that waiting in my mind is a waste of time cause I am just here as the mind complaining and else instead of enjoying self and acting in the moment. So things don´t Stop and I get things move  as Life that is in constant movement - as the breath. I realise the breath never stops - is constant. 

How it would be the breath of Life stopping 'cause the Internet goes? LOL


...

So,  I breathed and I continued doing things  - It was late and I saw the TV for a while. In the mean-time I was cuddling my cat and enjoying her. 

So, today I wake up and early and I started changing myself from the pijamas to another clothes - LOL - cause I had to go out  to make deliveries and my mom had to go to the doctor for her monthly reviews.

Every morning I check my cats and my dogs...specially what my 2 dogs that sleeps outside of my room make in the house at night.  So, I clean to poo´s and all.
In the past this event caused me a lot of resistance - "Why I have to clean these?" - "Why me?". 
So, also I have worked with these in the past and now I direct myself within these things and I move myself accordingly. My mom stills reacts and she gets tired, so I also do this for assist her. We have dogs and cats and is our responsibility now. Is funny cause my mom 'loves' them, but she reacts in tiredness and in resistances when she sees the mess they do. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when I see what the dogs do in the night  - like poo´s outside the place where they 'have to'  ( some are 'educated' and do in the papers we put in the bathroom ) and so this is a trigger point that makes me go into desperation, anger and thoughts of me moving my physical to clean the mess.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to evade walking out of my room to see what my dogs did in the night which I have to clean and arrange.
Instead of being here, bringing my attention here,  moving myself within and as the physical to get this done  - to clean the house and all the mess - and so, establishing an environment that is an assistance for me and all that are living here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind as back-chats as the voice that controls and directs everything I do in my life. Instead of being ME as life the Directive Principle within and as myself. I am the Voice that directs myself to move and to direct me as the physical Here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complain and react, when I have to do things anyway - So I better do it and move myself here, without hesitations and reactions that make me waste time. I realise, see and understand that I am making more time-loops within and as resisting and thinking - Instead of Acting.
I will do It Anyway - so I do it here/now as the physical.

...

I deliver an order  near my mom´s doctor appointment and well, we completed that.
We arrived home and my mom shared with me the same point of reacting towards the dogs and the mess they do at home and I told her to start with SF and calming down, but well, she always react and says that is a lot of information.
I have also participated in reactions towards this cause I have shared this tools with her and she always turns around and find ways to evade the support. 
I have realized that I don´t have to force others and wait them for checking this information, so I breathe through this and open to assist if others ask me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel desperation towards my mom cause she doesn´t listen and wants and prefers meditations instead applying Desteni tools, so this makes me go in to anger cause she never do what I say and this leads me to get anxious and act within this character of the Mother trying to give the medicine to their childs while them don´t what it.
So, I realise, see and understand how I am forcing others to change when I have to apply myself within and as this process and share/assist when time comes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry for my mother cause she doesn´t want to do the SF that I know will help her to stop all the systems she allow in herself, thinking that she will get ill and mad if she doesn´t direct her-self.
I realise/see and understand that worries are a separation and a mind system - so I stop worries and pre-occupations and mind-perceptions and imaginations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fears when I see my mom worrying and getting angry and being tired - participating in the fear of loss and so wanting/desiring - desperately - for her to apply this tools as if they were a miracle rescue that will 'save' her from that inner fear of me of loosing her. So, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to share desteni tools within and as the starting point of fears, desires and wants of saving others. 
I realise, see and understand that anyone can live the process of others and such a thing as 'saving' for real doesn´t exist and is born within and as mind-egos, fears and worries.

I stop myself within and as Mind Systems realising that they are pre-programmed part of my self and such as that I can direct them and be the directive principle understanding and realising that what I think and feel are based on fears and they are not real.

So I walk here as an assistance and support for myself and for others in result. Stopping loops and feeding the Mind Systems.
I stand as Common sense and as Practical Solutions and I walk as this within and as myself.

...
So, I arrived home and I started to check mails and Desteni info in Facebook and all.
Now; I am here writing and while I was writing my dogs began acting frenetically and started barking and barking - those things makes me anxious and I want them to shout at them. Specially when they bother my cats.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel desperate, anxious and angry when my dogs bark and act hysterically.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel impatience and anxiety while hearing my dogs bark - feeling desperate towards the scenario of looking them making a lot of noise.
Instead of being here within and as myself - within and as the barks also - in equality and oneness and stop reactions, feelings, emotions, thoughts,

Whenever I hear my dogs barking, I breathe, I calm myself down, I bring my participation here as the physical and I stop the  bark as trigger point within myself for releasing systems.
I stop releasing systems when I hear my dogs barking and I breathe and I direct them accordingly with a word or a movement.



Whenever I see myself reacting towards the activities I do daily I stop, I breathe and I move myself physically through the activities I have here in my reality with Practicality and stopping me as the Character that complains and participates in resistances - as physical tiredness and pain due to moving.
I am Constant, I am self-discipline and I walk through all this here within and as Breath.
Breath is a physical movement in simplicity and as that I move myself.

Day#35 -- My Character as an Animal Rescuer. How I create alter-egos

So, I have been observing this character within myself and is taking a step foward to work with it within these days ... hehe.
The article taking about Animal Fetishism and also this Dutch female artist that make toys and articles killing animals have been a trigger point within myself to participate in anger, sadness etc. I have written a lot of SF related to this and the day I read that article I end my day watching a movie that make me go into possession in relation to this points also.


Here I am sharing my Self-Forgiveness about all these....


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in anger and in sadness when I see within the media animal abuse where I feel this desire and wants of making to the abusers the same things they do to animals to make them see what they are doing.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realise and understand that I am equally responsible as the ones I define as 'the abuser' and I am also equal and one to them. I realize they are my alter-egos - I create them due to participating in mind polarities in placing myself as the protector as the rescuer so the opposite has to be created for me to have this systems in me.


So I commit myself to stop polarities within myself so I an stop creating 'alter-egos' within and as me in this world.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that I cannot say a word 'cause I am responsible for the abuse caused outside in the world - is hypocritical that I place myself as a character that protects animal rights when I am accepting and allowing inequalities within me such as laziness, procrastination, anger. I realise that I am part of the problem and not part of the practical solution.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself I see/realise/understand that I create  this character that rescues animals based on fears and this needs and desires to protect - I realise that it would not be necessary to protect any one and anything living in a system that sees and take care for everyone within and as equality and oneness. The mind produces danger for everyone as life because it has polarities and back-doors, such as choices.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel anger towards the whole humanity for the abuse accepted and allowed towards animals, nature, human beings also without realising the way I participate in the same patterns and behaviours that feeds the system we have now so in creating this character that rescues animals I am just assisting the mind C. systems and not life as what Life really entails and it is - due to accepting and allowing these emotions and feelings that gives 'life' to this character without realising the reality but just realising the reality as the mind.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand the abuse I inflict on and towards life when I accept and allow to create a character that is supporting the Mind C. Systems as fears, needs, desires, insecurities.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand the dishonesties, the separation and the abuse I am creating by defining myself as this character that is against animal abuse and that is supporting animal rights without realising how I create this alter-egos that are acting - as in the movies - as the contrary part of myself and in such polarity I am feeding and supporting the abuse, the reality that I reject and resist. So I  realise I am not different I am equal and one with the abuser and so I am responsable.


So as Equally Responsible I commit myself to stop this polarity game as my Mind C. Systems and be here as my physical in the physical assisting and supporting myself with writing, self-forgiveness and corrective applications to stop this and all characters I have created by believing I am the mind


So, Me as Equally Responsible I stop within and as myself these characters - the bad and the good as myself so they can be a danger to Life.
I realise I establish situations of danger and the opposite which is the same line by participating in my mind


I commit myself to step-out this characters so I can honor life for real.


I commit myself to stop myself as the animal rescuer character that is not supporting common sense and equality and oneness.

Day 8 - Rushing in my Mind - Rushing in my Reality

Another pattern and behaviour I am creating within me and my Reality is Rushing; running within myself, and the physical consequences I have is that my nose starts constipating and my body tightens.

I have been grounding myself with the breath and while I knit I place within myself all that Energy movements to Embrace them and to Stop them with the Breath, This have been more, while I practice it, more 'easy' to do and to Correct myself.

I have manifested that Rush in my Reality; when I see my things, my room, my house - I think -- ¡oh no I have to this! I am delayed. I worry and I start fearing the consequences; anticipating in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am a thought.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that thoughts is who I am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am my patterns and behaviours and that I can´t stop them and change them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am is behaviours and patterns; also personalities; and that makes me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to run within myself to complete and to reach the image I have in my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed in myself imaginary images of other people and experiences rushing me/making me run.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow images, words, pictures in my mind to influence my reality and what I really am.
I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to stop rushing myself and to realize anyone and anything outside me is here doing what I am imagining. So I stop here, I breathe, I clear myself and I move myself in the physical to complete the things I have to do within Simplicity.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am energy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I need Energy to move myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that Energy exists.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that rush is linked to do things correctly.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if i don´t rush myself as others, as I have seen in the example of others that means I am not moving myself and being Responsible.

I have this image/memory in my mind of --principally the one that pop-up is a job-partner I had rushing me to go to make something quickly; he talked and moved as he were running/rushing and I was calmed and I began to walk but he was like 'Move yourself quickly'!! I saw the scenario and I saw I had 'time' to do it and that i didn´t had to rush to complete it, so said to him 'Calm everything is ok, I´ll go! I do it and done, anything happened.

Another memory is from my mom when she tells me to do something and she began rushing me; I am very calmed in my movements...or I was...LOL...but she gets very mad when people don´t move quickly and starts to get very nervous. She tells to me that I don´t move myself quickly and things has to be done quickly,--Ok! I get it, but depends in which circumstances right? lol..well, I feel like if I don´t rush as them - getting energetically crazy - I am not doing the things correctly.
Various people had reacted with my patience to to things - is funny how I have this personality of being impatience...LOL..is because I rush myself within my mind--and that is because I want to please others, not taking in consideration myself first.
And I go into my mind rushing myself thinking, believing that others will get mad at me if I don´t run..LOL..

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to change to please others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place me as after others instead of being equal and one with me and so with others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect rushing and running as a way to please other people, so when I am here calmed I perceive I am not doing anything worthily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and think that being calmed and breathing is a waste of time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if others see me working I am worthy and doing things correctly.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush to demonstrate to others that I am doing Something.

This doesn´t mean that I am going to 'relax' and to sit and do nothing. No! hehe but I will walk Breath by Breath to get things that has to be done in the moment - without rushing me, as that means an abuse and stopping beliefs and perceptions to please others and having in my mind the image of others.


When and as I see myself Rushing and running within myself to reach  the image that I see in myself where I contemplate others rushing. I stop, I breathe, I Clear myself and being attentive to my breath I walk one and equal with the activity I am doing, Until it is done. Here.

When and as I see myself rushing myself and starting to participate within my mind in perceptions and ideas. I stop, I breathe. I stop what I am doing for a moment to ground myself here and to Stand from that Energy-movement and I clear myself here as One and equal to the activity i am doing, without images, beliefs, pictures, memories of the past, present and also future. Stopping Anticipation and Grounding me here with Breath. Walking here as breath,
I walk here as breath.
I am breath
I am self-Movement.





Journey to Life Group in Facebook
Desteni I process - to Free yourself.

Day#3: Insecurity

Within  accepting within myself invalidations and also beliefs that other people are more than me another point that borned within me was the Insecurity; Insecurity to move myself, to talk, to be. And this shows also in the physical as I used the food as a way to protect myself. 
I have defined myself as an insecure person. And I created a relation towards that emotion. And this links to fears. Insecurity comes when I am near people I know for the first time, and also people I already know. I experience anxiety and nervousness and I start with back-chats as comparing myself, or feeling and thinking negative things and also positive, going to the other polarity of that shade I have accepted and allowed.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within an emotional feeling of Insecurity.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an emotional  experience of insecurity every time I compare myself to others in my mind.
I forgive I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an emotional experience of insecurities and fears when I am infront, near, beside other people thinking and believing that they will find something wrong within me due to my physical body or my way of being - thus accepting and allowing fears, invalidations, and back-chats that are separating me from myself and from others. 
I realize this happens only in my mind and I participate in energy reactions and resistances that feeds my Mind conciousness systems instead of stopping them, Breathing, and correcting in the moment.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an emotional experience of fear and insecurity when I am going to meet someone new; participating also in my mind in anticipation and in thoughts, feelings, emotions, images about the experience to come and about the person I am going to meet. 
I realize that I am Separating myself from others, from me, from the physical, going into / participating within my mind, thus I create reactions and resistances that are not real and that end in feeding my insecurities and fears.


Every time I see myself participating in my mind; feeding fears and thus Insecurity I realize is all in the mind. I clear myself and I stop back-chats, thoughts, images, feelings, emotions in the moment and I express myself with others as myself. Stopping all fears of being judged and stopping my pattern of invalidating me all the time.
I Breathe, I stop and I direct myself in the moment - every time I start feeling insecure within myself and within my life and i direct myself to Stand as One and equal to myself and others. I clear myself and I express myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect people with feelings and emotions, thoughts, and images based on past experiences of me being criticized in the past.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect people to fears and insecurities based on paste experiences.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect people with past experiences I tagged as negative/ positive. 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect people with insecurity and fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to categorize people and experiences as negative or positive, I realize I am accepting Separation and dishonesty perceiving people as polarities within my mind. Participating in back-chats.
I Stop categorizing people as good or bad within my life, and also connecting people to past experiences - either positive or negative.
I realize this is Separation and I am participating and letting my mind direct me, instead of expressing myself as one and equal to others without mind systems.
Everytime I found myself categorizing people, connecting them to past experiences - I stop and I breathe I direct myself to clear myself and to see other people as myself and not accepting back-.chats and taggs that are just mind perceptions.
Life is not a Mind Perception. Life has not categories.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as an insecure person.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive me as insecure.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to protect myself within and idea of insecurity to avoid some experiences as talking, moving and expressing myself with others.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed insecurity within myself to invalidate  me and to limit myself; to limit my physical movements.
I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted to criticize and hate my body due to defining myself with insecurity.


Everytime I catch myself in feeling insecure and limiting myself due to insecurity, I stop, I breathe, I Stand and I direct myself to stop those patterns within myself and I correct myself in that moment to no longer participate in fears, insecurities and in the Mind.
Everytime I see myself feeling fearful and insecure of moving when a person is near me connecting that moment with past experiences or with fears I stop and I breathe, I realize I am in the mind and I clear myself. I Correct myself , I move myself without fears realizing the dishonesty within myself accepting and allowing those patterns of self-invalidation. I stop. 
I correct in every moment of Breath when I see myself participating in Separation, in dishonesties and in what is not best for me, and others as One and equal to Life!.


I accept myself. I stop my mind, I embrace myself. I stop my fears.
I am not my fears; thus my Mind C. Systems.


´Till here no further.