Day # 30 -- My body and Me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel that my body is an external part or being of myself - feeling and believing that I am separated from my body, and my body is not  mine and this perceptions lead me to feel inadequate and uncomfortable with my body-  I realize I am establishing self abuse and separation.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to realize/see/understand the amount of separation I am accepting and allowing within me caused by my deliberate participation in my mind as egos.
When and as I see myself participating in feelings/emotions/perceptions in relation to my body I stop; I breathe and I correct myself. I am here as self-acceptance and I commit myself to be one and equal to my body.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to need/desire to have another body - because I feel and perceive myself as ugly and different from the rest of the people around me -specially women. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ugly.  I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me as ugly, or as any other polarity.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the polarity of ugly/beautiful exists.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate and play within the comparison  construct/system programed inside me -comparing myself and also competing with myself to reach the image I have in my mind - which is better and more acceptable.
I realize that I am in constant participation within my mind and all it´s components instead of being here as Oneness and Equality - and also self-intimacy- with my physical and so; I am feeding and establishing separation, abuse and dishonesty. I stop and I stand as self-acceptance. I am self-acceptance
When and I see myself participating in systems as feelings, thoughts, emotions, ideas, perceptions - I Stop, I take a deep Breathe correcting myself here as the physical - embracing the physical as myself. I embrace me as Life and I accept me as Life. I bring my Participation here to myself as the physical and I face it. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have/experience resistances and conflicts  to see my body reflected in a mirror/ to see myself - my face- in the mirror cause I feel uncomfortable with my face and the way I look - cause I participate in needs/desires to change me to, to be different due to comparisons and due to the system demon programmed inside me which I am feeding and supporting without understanding and observing the amount of separation I am allowing within myself. 
When and as I see myself reacting to the image I see reflected in the mirror I stop. I Breathe. I bring  my participation back to myself as the physical. I see myself in the mirror stopping thoughts, feelings and emotions. I face myself and I breathe. I accept myself and I embrace myself. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed in myself separation -deifying the Mind and defying Life within me. 


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to realize I am defining myself as the mind - and this is cause I am not willing myself to face the reality and change it.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I fear facing me and the reality of myself due to my desires/wants and needs to protect my mind instead of Moving myself as the physical to Stand and Live as Life.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to realize and be self-honest and humble to accept that I am still protecting me as my mind - still having desires and needs to protect me so I can stay and remain in my comfort zone.
Instead of Standing as self Will and Self-Motivation to Stop these self-abuse and self-dishonesty and Say Till here no further.
I stand myself as self-will and self-motivation. I commit myself to assist myself with writing, self-corrective actions.




---to continue...

Day 18 --- Facade --continuing Opening the Gates of my own cell

Facade:

• a facade is in front of a place. like cathedrals, houses, churches, stores, malls and so on.
• • A False front. What you see. Not the whole story or whole answer 

• The face of a building. A game. Something that is not what it appears to be. 
• The front of a building, esp. an imposing or decorative one.

• The way something or somebody appears on the surface, especially when that appearance is false or meant to deceive.

• An appearance, often deceptive.

Sounding of the Word:

Fake - Aid.

A Fake ID.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a false presentation of myself to protect my back-chats and thoughts about other people and to protect myself from others to know how I really am and what I am really thinking, feeling, experiencing myself and experiencing the world around me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build within me and around me a facade to present myself as someone else infront the people as family and friends  to be socially accepted by them and evade problems with other people  maintaining a 'low profile' among them due to the feelings of awkwardness within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the creation of protections and defence mechanisms to keep me suppressed by myself and locked within myself, instead of being here as self-support in every moment of breath and living one and equal to everyone as myself without participating in fears and energetic reactions towards everything that enter in contact with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build slowly but surely a 'stone wall' around me as a protection where I could keep and suppress my own self without realizing the abuse I am doing with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trap me inside of a prison and placing me and defining me as a warden of that place inside me to protect me from my reality; trapping me and suppressing me to avoid seeing my creations and my Responsability in them Instead of being here as my self-support and self-guidance as the Director of my own reality and being one and equal to myself and to others.

I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to Realize the abuse I am inflicting to myself; the Abuse I was Inflicting to Life, because I believed that the fears within me were real and I didn´t realized the illusion I was feeding within and as me, and thus I perceived others and reality as the monsters and I defined me as the victim.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a victim of my reality, stating or believing that I am not Responsible for what is here as abuse and that I can´t stop it and correct it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself also to use this facade as a way to abuse and deceive others cause I also protected my back-chats and me as a demon presenting myself as a nice person and as a person that would not do the same things done to me to another; so participating and feeding mind egos and separating myself from others in my mind; keeping my secret mind protected and 'secret' from others to feel more secure, brave and interesting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to present myself as a person with principles when In fact I also participate within dishonesties and abuse towards others in my mind; maybe I don´t externalize it as others but I think it and I feed abuse in my mind. I realize I am one and equal to those I criticize and perceive less than me. 

I forgive myself that I  have accepted and allowed myself to avoid presenting the 'whole truth' as me; wanting to keep secrets within myself as a mechanism of defence where I could say the last word in my mind and so doing things my way without giving the whole answer - in this I accepted and allowed deception and abuse for myself and for others. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'decorate' myself using multiple personalities to deceive and to protect my secret mind to others, so I can not be matter for discussions because I play within a 'low profile'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to present various 'identifications' depending on what suits me in the moment - so deceiving and manipulation others to obtain what I always want.

I realize this abuse towards life. I stop it. I eliminate the fake identifications within me and I destroy that facades I built around me. So I stop this as myself, I tool Self-Responsability and I stand as self-honesty and I  present myself as what I really am, To be Clear and Accountable, Liable to do and act for What is best for all as Life.

I stand here Clear and I open those doors inside me that are suppressing me and Separating me from life - from me, from others.

I am Self-Acceptance, I let myself live Here. Outside of my Mind  as Limitations, Fears, Suppressions, egos, deceptions.

I Commit myself to walk, direct myself and Support myself with the Tools of Writing, Self-Forgiveness, Correction applications, and Breathing Everything as me

I breathe everything as One and equal to myself

I Open my physical eyes to see what I have created and I take Responsability for Everything and I correct it with here, in every moment of Breath.