Today I started my rutine/schedule of waking up - although I didnpt wake up very very early - to clean the house, to eat, to see what must be done in my house and then I chillled about an hour and I start doing my work-out. I indeed began to have fun when I do my rutine of excercises. They really hurt but I want to trascend comfort zones and I push myseld to the limit indeed. I see myself getting better everyday. Also all these its a way to clean my head of bad thoughts and feelings. Its a therapy for me.
I am in a competition with me, only with me. Focusing in others makes me participate in bad thoughts and abuse for me and for others. I tend to feel bad with me due to being at this stage in my life and not having an stable job, a house for my own, my dreams all accomplished. But I do enjoy my life. Its cool, I want to have more things and have more places to go to have fun and to know more people ...oh so many things.... :)
I also realised today that when everything seems as lost something come up and make me see that life never leaves me and if life doesn´t give up on me, I won´t do it.
My life in this moment is rutinary cause I have to take care of my money while I find a new job. But this week seems its going to be very useful for me and very fun with the people I love - here in my city or far away.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel the need to give up due to hearing to the back-chats in my head that says thay its very late for me and to achieve great things. I realise, see and understand that its never too late and I am learing to be better every day and I with the only one I have to compare my life with its with me, with anyone else cause this its my process and I cannot live what others has to live.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel sad and depressed due to not observing changes in my life the way I want to see them but I see, realise and understand that it is gradual and it has to be with me moving myself in this reality to see and observe how my world changes.
I forgive myself and accepting and allowing myself to give up when something its not the way I want. I have to see, realise and understand that things take time and everything will come.
I compromise myself to stop bad habits within myself
I compromise myself to stop participating in thoughts, feelings and emotions that are not assisting me in any way to stand and to move myself from my comfort zones
I am really happy being here and I indeed want to change.
It has been a process of standing and falling but every stage I have had made me stronger. And this is it. I have to do it now cause I see the things I am missing and the person I can be.