sábado, 25 de agosto de 2012

Day # 44 - My Intolerant Character towards certain people

My intolerant Character towards certain people. 
I Have just read a post of a Catholic person criticizing animals. Defending his point of view in relation to his likes and dislikes about having animals in the house.

I reacted and laughed inside me cause how he can be a 'God-Loving-Person' and he doesn´t consider animals, feeling repulsion and not tolerating hair, barks, noises, comfort etc.

I have reacted to this kind of people of my life cause I don´t understand how they fill their mouths saying/speaking 'God-Prayers, words and deeds' when they are not in fact living  that.

Cool point to expand and investigate -cause since the starting point of 'Everyone and Everything is Yourself' this situation can relate to me also - when I am just writing and writing and not living the Corrections. 
So, I would not have reacted to that words before observing me within what he said. Isn´t it?
Because the only thing that matter is Here. And I am firstly correcting me here within myself, and with self-honesty I have to observe and accept that if I react is because is a separation there.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in reactions and inner conflicts due to this intolerant character I act every time I hear people that doesn´t agree with what I do and what I say. I realize that I react due to the ego´s of the mind - only the mind reacts and places you as special infront others - so, accepting and allowing separation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry and play as an intolerant character infront of people that doesn´t act like me and so placing  me as trying to impose my point of view upon others - the point of view that I define as valid.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play within the polarities of valid and invalid, positive or negative - participating in this energetic reactions inside me of positive if people agree with me and negative if people disagree with me placing me within a defence mechanism trying to search in my mind an speech to leave them 'speechless' and so placing  me as better than others, and justifying this with the 'Good-person-Character' behaviours - saying that I do this for a good cause.
I realize I am accepting and allowing in myself  separation - in me and with others as myself - and so feeding the same violence and intolerant system that is not changing anything in the world but just staying the same because we prefer fighting and talking instead of acting and moving to have a world that is best for All.

I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to realise/see and understand the words that Jesus said 'if you are free of any sin, throw the first stone' that is the same as 'not observing you within what you react to face yourself' - which I did, I reacted and throw the first stone instead of observing me within that words and correct me in that.

I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that I  react upon certain people because I am still separated from the point they are representing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react instead of investigating before saying a word in separation of myself that information within myself.

So, within self-honesty I am this Intolerant Character acting and expressing as one and equal  as a mind system.

I realise, see and understand that I can´t criticize or judge others 'cause I am equally responsible for what they are representing and for which I am reacting.

Whenever I see myself reacting and acting as this intolerant character - I stop, I breathe and I see myself within the words they are expressing in which I am reacting and in self-honesty I face myself and I apply the self-forgiveness accordingly and I correct myself within that to stop the creation of more separation and abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel powerful due to the information and knowledge, I realise that this is caused by the ego of the mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the information and knowledge as a weapon against others so I can  make me feel  special, powerful, Instead of assisting and supporting others in equality and oneness to walk and work in a way that is best for All.



I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to realise, see and understand that when I am acting this intolerant character towards others I am one and equal with the same abuse; I mean there are not levels; not because I am intolerant to abusers that make a 'good person' or a person that is not doing the same.
I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to act as a 'good-person- character' at my convenience and in my secret mind I am the polarity - the abuser - so I am within this playing in polarities, in energy and so one and equal to the system of abuse - So, Why I am complaining.

I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I am also intolerant towards animals when they do something I define as bad and so, I am nor more or less that an animal abuser - I am one and equal.

So, I forgive myself that I haven´t had humility to accept and allow I am one and equal responsible and the same as others I am intolerant to. 
So, I commit myself to have Humility within myself to see me instead of pointing fingers, so investigating within myself in what I am reacting to face that and apply the self-forgiveness, the self-corrective application to free me from that abuse.



2011 - When Realizations Become EGO







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sábado, 11 de agosto de 2012

Día # 43 -- My Deliberate/Intentional Character

de·lib·er·ate:


1. Done with or marked by full consciousness of the nature and effects; intentional: mistook the oversight for a deliberate insult.
2. Arising from or marked by careful consideration: a deliberate decision. See Synonyms at voluntary.
3. Unhurried in action, movement, or manner, as if trying to avoid error.
1. To think carefully and often slowly, as about a choice to be made.
2. To consult with another or others in a process of reaching a decision.





Deliberate, intentional...."Acting without considering others and ourselves within our acts....

I haven´t observed at that word until today reading Sunette´s Facebook state updates. It was a cool assistance.

Through reading them again and this words - A memory came to my memory when I was a child and I felt a lot of envy of a friend that was able to climb trees ´cause she was more thin than me and I was not physically able to do it - I was a bit fat and also a coward to climb to high trees lol.
So, while she was hanging in the tree I took her legs and I pulled her down and she fall down. She get harmed - obviously. She broken her arms - or I better say I broke her arms and she had to be a lot of time without able to move. 

I don´t remember much - as I could say that I have 'selective' memory and I don´t recall the results - I mean, what was my reaction. I don´t remember feeling anything, I just remember knowing how I acted - deliberately - and with the intention of harming her due to my emotions of envy/jealousy. 

She is still my friend, she forgave me and when she used to brought the point up I felt ashamed and surprised about myself - cause it was something I did possessed by my emotions and thoughts.

So, is cool that this memory came due to observing this words - cause is the way we accept and allow to act. Although we know the consequences we choose to act - in deliberateness  - intentionally doing things we know the results and we continue doing and we supress and we blame others and we don´t want to see.


How many times I have acted like this? Many! 

Cause in deliberateness I have chosen to believe, think and feel that nothing is going to happen if I act this way - if I act the way others act...nothing is going to happen if I don´t speak or I don´t stand. Although within myself I know the consequences, although within I know what my Secret mind is saying - I prefer not seeing and realizing.

And so, Intentionally we Act and we are Destroying Life! 


And within Self-Honesty I have to stop this deliberate acts and Compromise Myself to do Deliberate Actions that can Bring - and will - A change within me and within others so we can Assist and Support Life.





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act within deliberateness.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create this character that deliberate and intentionally acts within and as self-interest.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act intentionally - to harm intentionally to satisfy a thought, an emotion, a feeling a picture in my mind without considering anyone and anything within and as that act. 


 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make plans within my secret mind to harm others, to harm myself within and as my physical body just to satisfy a desire, a need, and ego from the mind.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed in myself thoughts, feelings and emotions  in the back of my head as plans, information and knowledge to harm, to support the mind, to separate myself from others as myself and from myself.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to realise, see and understand that within me acting deliberately - I am participating in a thought and also in defence mechanisms to not consider others but just myself in every action I take and do.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress  the truth of my actions and the consequences of the action that I am doing in deliberateness due to fears and due to following and energetically reward that is known as emotions and feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act intentionally so I can have the attention and the acceptance of others.


I commit myself to stop deliberate abuse acts within myself. 

I commit myself to act within the Principles of What is best For All and within this observing and considering Everything as Myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to thing and believe that to act within the deliberate act of what is best for all is boring and will take a lot of time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberate and intentionally I discourage myself. I realise is the mind talking to me and placing a defence mechanism within me so I cannot stand and act in the physical.


I realise that the Mind makes you act Intentionally in polarities. 
Because I can act 'Intentionally' to Create  a Better world, to make a Change, standing within and as myself as Self-honesty, assisting and supporting myself with writing, self-forgiveness applications, Self-corrective Actions - which is the more 'important' cause I realise that without taking action, without correcting myself in the physical I am creating another character as the mind.


Note:

*De-Liberada-Mente:
Liberada: released
Mente: Mind


This will continue...





miércoles, 8 de agosto de 2012

Day# 42 --Characters of my day

Well, yesterday when I was going to write my Internet go away - it unplugged - I participated for a little in 'fear of loss' , anxiety and impatience. I have worked with this points in previous blogs and now I can observe them come and stop them more effectively - I remember when I started in Desteni I became possessed by the anger 'cause the internet was not constant and I had to move from one space to another within my house. Now I breathe and I stand and I move to do another thing/activity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in anger when the Internet signal goes away, being within and as the thought of me not writing my daily post entry and so getting anxious and back-chatting:
* 'what are others are going to say' - that I fail again'.
* I am behind others due to my Internet, I wish I had money to have my own service.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create/participate in back-chats that are sabotaging myself - within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed in me self-sabotage in the ways of thoughts, emotions, feelings, words in separation of myself, mind images of others in my head, back-chats, I realise see and understand that my mind do that as a defence-mechanism and is not what I am in fact. So, whenever I see myself hearing those back-chats and perceiving them as real I stop, I breathe, I realise me as the physical - as what is Real. And I continue walking and expressing myself here within and as the physical. 
So, I am here within and as myself in equality and oneness to  my physical - seeing/observing the situation with common sense and doing another thing that I have to do within my daily activities. Stopping myself as my thoughts, feelings and emotions and being here as Self-Movement, as a Practical being - one that doesn´t waits but acts within every situation based in What is best for me. In this case what is best for me is standing out of my mind and moving in to the next moment. Simple.

I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that waiting in my mind is a waste of time cause I am just here as the mind complaining and else instead of enjoying self and acting in the moment. So things don´t Stop and I get things move  as Life that is in constant movement - as the breath. I realise the breath never stops - is constant. 

How it would be the breath of Life stopping 'cause the Internet goes? LOL


...

So,  I breathed and I continued doing things  - It was late and I saw the TV for a while. In the mean-time I was cuddling my cat and enjoying her. 

So, today I wake up and early and I started changing myself from the pijamas to another clothes - LOL - cause I had to go out  to make deliveries and my mom had to go to the doctor for her monthly reviews.

Every morning I check my cats and my dogs...specially what my 2 dogs that sleeps outside of my room make in the house at night.  So, I clean to poo´s and all.
In the past this event caused me a lot of resistance - "Why I have to clean these?" - "Why me?". 
So, also I have worked with these in the past and now I direct myself within these things and I move myself accordingly. My mom stills reacts and she gets tired, so I also do this for assist her. We have dogs and cats and is our responsibility now. Is funny cause my mom 'loves' them, but she reacts in tiredness and in resistances when she sees the mess they do. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when I see what the dogs do in the night  - like poo´s outside the place where they 'have to'  ( some are 'educated' and do in the papers we put in the bathroom ) and so this is a trigger point that makes me go into desperation, anger and thoughts of me moving my physical to clean the mess.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to evade walking out of my room to see what my dogs did in the night which I have to clean and arrange.
Instead of being here, bringing my attention here,  moving myself within and as the physical to get this done  - to clean the house and all the mess - and so, establishing an environment that is an assistance for me and all that are living here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind as back-chats as the voice that controls and directs everything I do in my life. Instead of being ME as life the Directive Principle within and as myself. I am the Voice that directs myself to move and to direct me as the physical Here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complain and react, when I have to do things anyway - So I better do it and move myself here, without hesitations and reactions that make me waste time. I realise, see and understand that I am making more time-loops within and as resisting and thinking - Instead of Acting.
I will do It Anyway - so I do it here/now as the physical.

...

I deliver an order  near my mom´s doctor appointment and well, we completed that.
We arrived home and my mom shared with me the same point of reacting towards the dogs and the mess they do at home and I told her to start with SF and calming down, but well, she always react and says that is a lot of information.
I have also participated in reactions towards this cause I have shared this tools with her and she always turns around and find ways to evade the support. 
I have realized that I don´t have to force others and wait them for checking this information, so I breathe through this and open to assist if others ask me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel desperation towards my mom cause she doesn´t listen and wants and prefers meditations instead applying Desteni tools, so this makes me go in to anger cause she never do what I say and this leads me to get anxious and act within this character of the Mother trying to give the medicine to their childs while them don´t what it.
So, I realise, see and understand how I am forcing others to change when I have to apply myself within and as this process and share/assist when time comes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry for my mother cause she doesn´t want to do the SF that I know will help her to stop all the systems she allow in herself, thinking that she will get ill and mad if she doesn´t direct her-self.
I realise/see and understand that worries are a separation and a mind system - so I stop worries and pre-occupations and mind-perceptions and imaginations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fears when I see my mom worrying and getting angry and being tired - participating in the fear of loss and so wanting/desiring - desperately - for her to apply this tools as if they were a miracle rescue that will 'save' her from that inner fear of me of loosing her. So, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to share desteni tools within and as the starting point of fears, desires and wants of saving others. 
I realise, see and understand that anyone can live the process of others and such a thing as 'saving' for real doesn´t exist and is born within and as mind-egos, fears and worries.

I stop myself within and as Mind Systems realising that they are pre-programmed part of my self and such as that I can direct them and be the directive principle understanding and realising that what I think and feel are based on fears and they are not real.

So I walk here as an assistance and support for myself and for others in result. Stopping loops and feeding the Mind Systems.
I stand as Common sense and as Practical Solutions and I walk as this within and as myself.

...
So, I arrived home and I started to check mails and Desteni info in Facebook and all.
Now; I am here writing and while I was writing my dogs began acting frenetically and started barking and barking - those things makes me anxious and I want them to shout at them. Specially when they bother my cats.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel desperate, anxious and angry when my dogs bark and act hysterically.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel impatience and anxiety while hearing my dogs bark - feeling desperate towards the scenario of looking them making a lot of noise.
Instead of being here within and as myself - within and as the barks also - in equality and oneness and stop reactions, feelings, emotions, thoughts,

Whenever I hear my dogs barking, I breathe, I calm myself down, I bring my participation here as the physical and I stop the  bark as trigger point within myself for releasing systems.
I stop releasing systems when I hear my dogs barking and I breathe and I direct them accordingly with a word or a movement.



Whenever I see myself reacting towards the activities I do daily I stop, I breathe and I move myself physically through the activities I have here in my reality with Practicality and stopping me as the Character that complains and participates in resistances - as physical tiredness and pain due to moving.
I am Constant, I am self-discipline and I walk through all this here within and as Breath.
Breath is a physical movement in simplicity and as that I move myself.










domingo, 5 de agosto de 2012

Day # 41 --- Monotony Character

Yesterday, while making the house chores my mind started creating this back-chat of monotony and also the thought - the image of me doing the same all over again; each day.


In the post number 52 in my blog in Spanish I started writing about this point but it again appeared in my concious mind although with less intensity - I was able to catch it and stop it.
But I am going to do the SF again here.


mo·not·o·ny:

1. Uniformity or lack of variation in pitch, intonation, or inflection.
2. Tedious sameness or repetitiousness: the monotony of daily routine.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thought of me always being in monotony within and as my life and seeing me doing this always in my life and saying to myself as a back-chat that I will never be doing something else than cleaning my house from the mess that my dogs do - Instead of being here, breathing, stopping that participation and bringing myself here within and as myself in the action of cleaning and putting all the mess in order so my mother and I can - and my pets also - have a place that is best for All to Live and Express, Live and move.


I realise, see and Understand we must Act and move in the Physical to build a Place that is based within and as the Principles of What is Best For All and so having a better World for Everyone.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word monotony with a negative experience.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word monotony with a negative charge.
And so this makes me create this Character that reacts upon monotony/sameness and have to search for another action - that is an energy-situation - to release the system inside me and within this action separating me from myself as the Physical.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that 'uniformity' or having the same activity all over again and not having variation is interpreted as negative, bad, boring and this creates a reaction within and as me.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that doing a repetetive action is boring and tedious. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in boredom and tediousness - I realise, see and understand that these are mind systems that came from the mind egos and is not What I really am.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to not see that the mind directs me to search for me outside myself so I can be distracted and and not Here as Life.










Within my Breath I am in doing the Same Action in Equality and Oneness and at the same time doing and acting in various and different ways - so the lack of variation doesn´t exist for real.


Monotony/Sameness - Being the Quality in Constancy. Having a Routine within and as I am improving myself in the action of doing what is best for All - until it is done that the Earth and the Whole Planet moves in the same path = Equality and Oneness.









jueves, 2 de agosto de 2012

Day# 40 - My character of 'Cat Fanatic'

Ok, so - I have another cat. The other day I heard a cat meowing outside my house and I look through the window and I saw this little cat crossing from the other street directly to my house when she hears me meowing too. 
Since I was little I have this behaviour of meowing like a cat and they answers me - is very funny, and well, in this occasion was the same. I was meowing and she answered me and came to my house. I began acting this character of a cat lover and I participated in anxiety, desires and wants to go to cuddle it and I did. I fed him and my cats saw her. Then I closed the door and I left her outside - feeling bad cause I have a lot of animals in my house and the money is a big issue lol. So I stopped this systems inside and I came to my room - thinking and imagining her in the streets, alone and hungry - OMG! LOL.


I came here to write in Spanish and I did my SF and well, the day after I hear her out of my room´s window and I hear also kids around her saying ugly things and I reacted - I step out of my bed where I was knitting and I told my  mom about the cat. Of course she reacted in worries and angry at me due to seeing me wanting to take another cat. 






But well, I walk with my dogs and I saw her and she came with me she began following me but Chester bark her and she ran away - So I let my dogs in my house and I returned again to see the cat with food and she ate the food I gave her. Again as usually, the cat started to follow me and Here she is! I have 8 cats LOL!!! and a 'worry' to find a job quickly to assist my house.


I am selling also knitted dolls and accessories and I have an amount of Money entering, but is not what I earned in my last job...


Well, SO here is my Self-Forgiveness


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in anxiousness and nervousness by hearing the cat meowing outside, like in other times when I hear cats and dogs outside and those are the trigger points for me to participate in worries and in mind-fantasies about them in danger and me wanting to take care of them and rescuing them


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in desires of helping and taking care of animals I saw on the streets. I realise that real care doesn´t exist within and as the mind and I am just feeding separation and abuse within and as me.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realise and understand that this character of a cat fanatic is not based in equality and oneness- in honesty and responsability - is based in mind-desires, wants and needs to fill this space created due to creating this character since the starting point of my mind - desires and needs, insecurities and thus polarities.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realise and understand the separation I establish within and as myself and my cats cause I create a relationship with them since the starting point of my mind egos - desires and needs. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to approach an animal - cat or dog - as a character and not realising the abuse and separation I am creating since seeing others with the eyes of the mind and so not being here within and as equality and oneness with them


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to obtain keeping cats with me since the starting point of the mind as separation - as fears as desires to fullfill the wants of having animals and not since the starting point of common sense.




I commit myself to show how Human beings abuse animals within and as accepting the mind direct us to create a desire an a need to cover a mind-image of having a pet in house etc.


I commit myself to show we all are abusers since the point that we allow the mind to control how we relate ourselves with others since the starting point of desires, needs, fears, insecurities. etc