Day 18 --- Facade --continuing Opening the Gates of my own cell

Facade:

• a facade is in front of a place. like cathedrals, houses, churches, stores, malls and so on.
• • A False front. What you see. Not the whole story or whole answer 

• The face of a building. A game. Something that is not what it appears to be. 
• The front of a building, esp. an imposing or decorative one.

• The way something or somebody appears on the surface, especially when that appearance is false or meant to deceive.

• An appearance, often deceptive.

Sounding of the Word:

Fake - Aid.

A Fake ID.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a false presentation of myself to protect my back-chats and thoughts about other people and to protect myself from others to know how I really am and what I am really thinking, feeling, experiencing myself and experiencing the world around me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build within me and around me a facade to present myself as someone else infront the people as family and friends  to be socially accepted by them and evade problems with other people  maintaining a 'low profile' among them due to the feelings of awkwardness within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the creation of protections and defence mechanisms to keep me suppressed by myself and locked within myself, instead of being here as self-support in every moment of breath and living one and equal to everyone as myself without participating in fears and energetic reactions towards everything that enter in contact with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build slowly but surely a 'stone wall' around me as a protection where I could keep and suppress my own self without realizing the abuse I am doing with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trap me inside of a prison and placing me and defining me as a warden of that place inside me to protect me from my reality; trapping me and suppressing me to avoid seeing my creations and my Responsability in them Instead of being here as my self-support and self-guidance as the Director of my own reality and being one and equal to myself and to others.

I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to Realize the abuse I am inflicting to myself; the Abuse I was Inflicting to Life, because I believed that the fears within me were real and I didn´t realized the illusion I was feeding within and as me, and thus I perceived others and reality as the monsters and I defined me as the victim.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a victim of my reality, stating or believing that I am not Responsible for what is here as abuse and that I can´t stop it and correct it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself also to use this facade as a way to abuse and deceive others cause I also protected my back-chats and me as a demon presenting myself as a nice person and as a person that would not do the same things done to me to another; so participating and feeding mind egos and separating myself from others in my mind; keeping my secret mind protected and 'secret' from others to feel more secure, brave and interesting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to present myself as a person with principles when In fact I also participate within dishonesties and abuse towards others in my mind; maybe I don´t externalize it as others but I think it and I feed abuse in my mind. I realize I am one and equal to those I criticize and perceive less than me. 

I forgive myself that I  have accepted and allowed myself to avoid presenting the 'whole truth' as me; wanting to keep secrets within myself as a mechanism of defence where I could say the last word in my mind and so doing things my way without giving the whole answer - in this I accepted and allowed deception and abuse for myself and for others. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'decorate' myself using multiple personalities to deceive and to protect my secret mind to others, so I can not be matter for discussions because I play within a 'low profile'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to present various 'identifications' depending on what suits me in the moment - so deceiving and manipulation others to obtain what I always want.

I realize this abuse towards life. I stop it. I eliminate the fake identifications within me and I destroy that facades I built around me. So I stop this as myself, I tool Self-Responsability and I stand as self-honesty and I  present myself as what I really am, To be Clear and Accountable, Liable to do and act for What is best for all as Life.

I stand here Clear and I open those doors inside me that are suppressing me and Separating me from life - from me, from others.

I am Self-Acceptance, I let myself live Here. Outside of my Mind  as Limitations, Fears, Suppressions, egos, deceptions.

I Commit myself to walk, direct myself and Support myself with the Tools of Writing, Self-Forgiveness, Correction applications, and Breathing Everything as me

I breathe everything as One and equal to myself

I Open my physical eyes to see what I have created and I take Responsability for Everything and I correct it with here, in every moment of Breath.

Day 17 --- Satisfaction

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within a positive feeling as satisfaction because today I wake up early.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel satisfaction when I think I did something 'good' since the point of view of my mind, instead of living this as a supportive situation for me one and equal with everything here.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect the word satisfaction with a positive and nice feeling - and to observe it as something greater and wonderful, instead of living it and observing it as something part of myself that I am walking as a self-corrective statement as one and equal to myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in positive and negative experiences to validate or invalidate something about myself and about my life; where I feel satisfaction when I do something that I think and believe is correct due to my beliefs, ideas and programming and to feel insatisfaction when I do something wrong.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate and to think I need an energetic experience to guide me - to make me think and believe I go within the correct path and when I don´t.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dependant of an energetic experience as positive or negative to validate me as life or to validate me as worthy.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that what I do is what I am, instead of believing that what I am determines what I do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I can change who I am by changing how I do it and what I do.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think to much in what I do instead of being here directing myself in every moment of breath.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, feel and perceive that if I do something defined as good I have to receive a reward - and that reward is as an energetic experience within me as satisfaction.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel satisfaction.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the feeling of satisfaction and to define experiences and activities as good, neutral, and bad, instead of me living all that is here as one and equal to myself and being me as self-movement - in simplicity.


I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize this is also participating and creating egos of the mind.


I am Here
I stop believing I am my mind, I direct myself in the moment of every breath with any participation of the mind.
I realize that energetic experiences are not who I am.


I realize and accept that What I am is what I do and not what I do determines who I am - so what I am is a Constant Commitment with/within myself  to walk within the Principles of doing what is best for me and for all, as one and equal to life.  I am Self-Direction and the Directive Principle of my life, walking to re-design myself to support myself as one and equal to life and to do what is best for all as life.




So, I also don´t seek for any energetic experience or any reference to do what is best for all. The answer is in every breath is in every movement I take to stand to Support myself and others as myself. 


I walk without expecting anything and the only movement that is here is the one I make within my physical reality and one and equal with my physical body - no energy required.

Day # 16 Anger Possessed

I felt very angry today, I was very desperate and I wanted to hit something and shout. I began to be possessed by this anger. I was feeling very rare and I began to do my self-forgiveness here at in my room. 
I began Breathing and slowly but surely I took control and I directed myself to stop that possession. i was very surprised - I wanted to sleep or lay in my bed to calm myself but I realized I always do the same - to wait and  don´t facing myself in that moment.
I took my notebook and I started writing - my hands was very tense and I also felt a little pain in them; when I finished my SF my hands were less tense and I stop that energetic reaction I was having.
I saw Everything as myself and I moved myself to start my day breathing. 


I´ll share here the SF I did.




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel anger.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in this anger.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in this energetic experience called anger and desperation.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be, and to participate in anger and desperation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel anger and desperation because I feel I can´t do what I want.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel locked, limited and angry with me and with everyone else in this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the systems as desperation and anger to guide me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel angry and desperate towards my mother.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect anger and desperation when I hear my mom talking to me and asking me something.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in anger and desperation when I hear my mom talking.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the desire of explode myself and wanting to eliminate myself from my life due to the feeling of desperation and anger I am feeling towards me in this moment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I can´t do it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts of not being able to do anything and I prefer not doing anything.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am one and equal to desperation and anger


I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be the directive principle within my life and when I began to feel that energy inside me correct myself with breathing and not let those systems move me from here due to those feelings, emotions, thoughts.
I breathe and I bring back here and I follow walking and standing without giving my direction away .


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the systems within me move me from what I really am. Who I am? I am Simplicity, I am constant, I am self-direction, I am clarity.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see in what I have become and what I have done and feel anger towards myself for what I am.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel desperation inside me.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in what I feel and think it is real.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am one and equal to my mind systems and that´t why I let them direct me.


Till here no Further!
I stop this abuse


I realize I am not my mind systems. I can stop them taking Self-direction and Standing as the Directive Principle. I am my Self-direction en each moment of every Breath, of every word and in every physical movement.
The only movement I experiment/have is in Oneness and equality within me/with myself. - not of energy.


I Breathe. I direct myself here


I see what Is here
I see what I have Created
I see and Face everything that is here as me Stopping Fears in Every breath.


I see and Face everything and everyone as One and Equal to me
I see and Face my Reality in Simplicity and I move myself to be my Directive Principle


I let go the Control
I stop the desperation. I don´t need it to hide and protect myself from facing what I am and what I have done.
I am not my mind


I see my Reality
I see and face what I am
I see and Face what I am to Correct it in every Moment of every Breath.


I am the Directive Principle
I move myself in the physical to correct me in the moment.

Day 15 --- Ego; I unlock myself

Writing all days has been a great tool for me. I have been observing more spaces where I 
didn´t wanted to see in my past writtings.
I am surprised every day with the things I discover of myself and well, another point I was not observing clearly is my egos...I still have them, and I participated within them when I take a pause within my process.
Ok, I´ll start  my SF cause is the best way to expose everything.




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress my egos by feeling ashamed of them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of my egos so, instead of facing them I suppress them in the deepest of me - like hiding them under the rug.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ashamed of my egos and that´s why I don´t want to expose them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ashamed of exposing me here.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a mechanism of protection and defence and not realizing this is a form of supporting ego.
I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and realized that in defending and protecting me from others I am participating in Mind egos - I forgive myself that I  have accepted and allowed myself to present myself as hard and tough towards myself and others without realizing I was the  personification of my egos.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and realized that fearing to be harmed by others is another face of my egos.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a personality that is strong and though to protect me and hide my insecurities - so, another face of my ego.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior due to the knowledge and information I have gathered trough all this years, information that is not very common between the people I know so I used and use this information to criticize others in my mind.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse life - me and others - through using Knowledge and information to make me feel superior to others.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to back-chat about others using the information I have gathered and placing me as better than others in my mind and in my 'facade' = fake-presentation of myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build a fake presentation of myself to pretend I am strong like others and so, with me building a fake presentation participating in my fears of not being 'good enough' and also weak.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel weak.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in weakness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as weak.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build this personality to hide the real me. I forgive myself that I  have accepted and allowed myself to fear presenting to others the real me cause I perceive I will be harmed and abused.


I forgive myself that I haven´t realized that this is making me feel unworthy of sharing with others - so, taking me to Isolation - instead of letting all control and egos and share with others as myself as One and Equal to life.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself as One and Equal to others - I am one and equal to everyone here and there´s no need to protect me, there is no need to keep myself locked inside myself.


I commit myself to use the Self-Honesty, Self-forgiveness, self-corrective applications as a Key to un-lock what I Really am. Stopping all fears of being Me - stopping all justifications and excuses within me and letting Go the control I have placed over me.


I commit myself to expose my back-chats in every breath and to equalize me as one and equal to others, to life and stopping my participation within Egos.
I realize there is no need to protect me and still participating in my mind cause the Reality is not what I have perceived and feel.


I stop following my emotions, thoughts, feelings and I Place myself here as One and equal to Life.
I accept myself. I give myself the opportunity to be here.




Helpful links:
God Created Ego -- day 15


Reptilians- The Road Ahead part # 2

Day # 14 Head and Body Aches - Being My own cell keeper

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe the systems within me are more than me and that I am unable to stop them; to take direction of myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, think and feel I am my Mind consciousness systems.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel overwhelmed by my feelings, thoughts, emotions, back-chats and thus think and feel that I can´t control them so I prefer giving up and let them to direct me and control me.
I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to be my Self-direction.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I need another, a mechanism, a tool; something outside of myself to guide me because I don´t know how to do it.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the systems programmed in myself  guide me; because I feel not 'powerful' to do that on my own.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed in myself resistances and opportunities to hide and wash my hands from facing myself and moving myself, directing myself to free myself from the mind systems.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist facing myself and using tiredness as an excuse to do something to stand.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use tiredness as  a justification and as a shell to not face me and my reality and so doing something to change it.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe taking direction over me is very difficult and I can´t do it.


I forgive myself that I  have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am helpless.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe anyone, and also me
 can´t do anything to change me so I prefer giving up infront of my MCS and accept the consequences  at my death than doing it in every breath.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prefer facing the consequences - 'later' - or giving up to the inevitable instead of assisting myself in every breath; instead of standing and be my own Directive Principle.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see in death a better way to save me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I am not good enough to be saved and thus I prefer giving up now and face the consequences than taking the Power to Direct me in every breath.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I prefer suffering than stopping that abuse in myself now - implicating that I don´t want to face my reality and so work on my self to be my directive principle within my life.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in tiredness and to define myself with tiredness - giving my power away to this system and believing is better than me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that tiredness exists within and as me.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately abuse myself within the acceptance and allowance of death in every breath. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed separation within myself due to thinking, wanting, desiring and looking death as an 'easy-way/back-door' to escape from my Responsability  and from myself - and the best way to correct myself.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that death is the better way for me to correct me and to free myself cause I can´t in this moment so I prefer giving me away to the Systems of my mind.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed abuse within myself.
I forgive myself that I haven´t realized  that I am my own executioner - killing/eliminating me myself before others do - accepting and allowing failure, anticipating  to the worst because I believe that way I can suffer less or I can anticipate to other enemies so that they can´t find a way to harm me  - which is an illusion cause no-one is here attacking me but me.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others/my reality is against me so I an anticipate to the worst, to the failure by eliminating me first, by infringing harm to myself before others can do it.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I open myself I can be vulnerable to the attacks that are out there.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that the enemy is around and I have to cover all the parts of myself so in that way I can prevent any damage. I forgive myself that I have not realized that I am my own enemy and that I am allowing separation and abuse by protecting me from something that is not real- so suppressing myself in every moment instead of letting go all the control and the fears to live and to Breathe for once and for all and to Live in Simplicity,


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in this masochistic mechanism to hide/protect me from what I think can harm me - so I prefer harming me first to anticipate suffering.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in masochism. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe I need suffering to correct myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to infringe suffering towards me to feel safe and to feel protected.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play the role of a prison ´s warden so I can feel safe and protected.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be cold and hard with myself to lock myself as a way of feeling safe and protected.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act as a warden - hard, inexpressive, tough - against  myself to avoid falling apart.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel weak and that´s why I have to create another personality to hide from others/from myself , to protect me from others/from myself  and thus creating a personality that is suppressing me.


I forgive myself that I haven´t allowed myself to realize that I am defining my reality - everything around me as a place where I have to be safe  - so I have to be hard in my 'facade'/ be hard to myself to feel secure and to protect what I am, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be hard and though with others to avoid any damage.








I commit myself to investigate this further within myself - to investigate why I do this to myself.


Everytime I see myself allowing abuse and harm within me through words and  thoughts, feelings and emotions. I stop, I breathe, I stop my mind and I embrace myself as one and equal to life. I accept myself and I stop all abuse within  me and towards me.
When and I as see myself participating in feelings of not being good enough and feeling I am unable to stand, I stop, I Stand and I clear myself breathing and I continue moving in my physical with any participating within my mind. Stopping all participation with my mind. 


I take the Control as the Directive Principle. I stand as self-direction and Self-responsability.


I allow myself to let go the control. I allow myself to Stand as self-acceptance, stopping that protection and defence mechanism within me and I breathe, I relax, I express myself as one and equal to  others. I stop all fear and Insecurities.

Day 13 -- Family and Old Times

I go out today; my mother went to change the oil of her car and I take her in my car while the service were finished.

I wake up and I felt a resistance to do it - I was getting ready; changing my clothes and all and I started to resist and feel I didn´t wanted to go.

I noticed I began to feel angry and I start my Self-Forgiveness on my way to pick my mom. 

I clear myself and I bring myself back here. I promised myself to apply this without justifications and waiting until I come here to write.

Then, we arrived home and I started to eat. My neighbours usually  have visits  - they have 2 children - and I hear all the movement they have when they do gatherings and parties. 

When I hear them I feel 'melancholy'  for my past. I remember when we had our house full of people. We had seasons when many uncles and nephews from the united states visited us and stayed at home for many days.

I enjoyed that. I enjoyed hearing people, noises in the morning and while I was sleeping.

Now is different. My mom and me are the only ones here at house and many of my uncles are now dead so we don´t receive many visits; now we go to visit family but not as often as before ( also due to my pets is very difficult to receive friends) and not with the same 'quality' as before.

We keep in touch with the my uncles and nephews my grandmother used to visit more, but many times the environment is not honest and I 'feel' that and I feel very uncomfortable.  Some times is easy to 'read' people and some others not -- I have been stopping that and stop all those thoughts and back-chats but then I can have physical reference of that 'thoughts'.

Well, as I was saying that pattern open again today when hearing the noises back there - in my neighbour´s house - while I was eating. I was eating alone, my mother was in her room and I wanted to be there, in my past, and I felt sad. My memories go slowly but surely while the old people I enjoyed go away for ever. I feel a part of me goes to. ¿My past really happened?  Living here is like the past didn´t happened cause I am not bringing that past here and just walking and breathing here.

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad when remembering my past and perceiving it as better than my present.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the emotion of melancholy; remembering my past and desiring to bring my past back here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive my past as better than the present; thus I forgive myself to experience myself as better in my past; allowing to exist in constant separation an abuse towards myself cause I am divided in my mind; being in constant participation in my past experiences and memories instead of being here in the totality of self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to divide myself in multiple layers - to exist in multiple dimensions and also personalities within myself instead of being here in every breath I take.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad to see other families having their homes full of people,  thinking in my past and participate in emotions, feelings, memories, images, even sounds separating myself from my reality and from  myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed separations within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my life with the life of others - I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to underestimate myself and my life participating in comparisons and in feelings, emotions, pictures, images, and also underestimating my life and feeling it less than others cause I am not surrounded with people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel myself happy when I am surrounded by people and sad when I am alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that happiness exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that happiness exists only in my mind and so, outside of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define happiness with being sorrounded by people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect happiness with memories from the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define happiness with having my house with relatives as it was in my past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect happiness with an image in my mind of my relatives gathered in my house every weekend.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect happiness within memories of my past, thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect sadness with my present.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to underestimate my present because It doesn´t compares to my past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define happiness outside and separate from me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be happy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'try' to find happiness somewhere 'out there'  separate from me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find happiness within my mind as memories instead of investigating why I can live it here as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to care for my own happiness; allowing separation within me and with others as myself here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my past had more 'quality'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in separation and dishonesties, and abuse towards others as myself within also comparing the people that is here with the people of my past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately live in an illusion, instead of being here in my reality, embracing all that is here as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and connect my past with quality and thus perceiving my present as without quality; thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that life is defined by quality, so defined by characteristics programmed in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define life with my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see life through the eyes of my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold unto memories, past experiences and people that has gone already instead of living and being here in every breath, stopping my participation within the mind.

I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed me and all the people that is here as me  for what they really are, but instead I have been imposing my past unto my reality; so I am not realizing and observing I am in constant separation and surviving in an illusion.

I stop all Illusions here. I Embrace them all and I stop them within myself. 

I stop all judgements, comparisions and perceptions.

When and I as see myself entering/participating within my mind in bringing back memories, pictures, images, thoughts, feelings and emotions of my past, I breathe; I stop and I Bring Myself back here to enjoy my reality and enjoy myself and others as myself here, stopping the search of happiness in other places that are not here as myself. 

Stopping the necessity and desires of participating in the past to experience a false perception of happiness. 

When and I as see myself participating in emotions, feelings, memories, thoughts of my past when I see or hear people having reunions in their house. I stop, I breathe, I bring myself back here within my breath and I realize I am the expression of happiness and joy here and i don´t need anything to give me this expression separated from me.

I am here, I enjoy everything and everyone as myself here. I am the expression of happiness within and as Oneness and Equality.

I realise and I accept myself as the expression of joy of like within and as Oneness and equality; it is me as who I am. In other words the expression of joy is not laughter, smiling and jumping, being energetic.

The Joy is the Presence of me As who I am  of life within and as onenes and equality - constant, stable, presence, here in every breath.

I realise all Expressions of Life are not searched are Lived. 

I realize all expressions of Life are not originated from something outside of myself.

I realize all the expressions of life are not generated by outer sources.

They are Here as me within Oneness and equality.

Day 12 # Indifference and Coldness

I am focusing in my sleeping pattern and I am pushing myself to stand and to investigate myself within this behaviour and get out of this deliberates wastes of time/ breaths I accept in my reality.
Today was other day of moving myself out of my bed and I began to be very cold against myself cause I again over-sleep for 2 hours. 
I began to do my activities without thinking to much in this but I was disappointed and all my day were observing me as serious and indifferent towards myself. 
While I was knitting I began breathing and stopping those judgements against myself.
I really want to quit doing this - is like a drug, is this substance that makes me 'die' for many hours to evade myself.
I set my clock at night and the thought that pop - up related to the hour was 'Is very early, What I am going to do so early? I prefer waking up more late when the sun is up' 
I observe that thought and I really believe it. I stopped and I went to sleep. 
Indeed I wake up more late - when according to myself is an hour when I can make more things.
My Internet connection has been failing in the mornings so when I wake up early I want to get in and I am not able to connect me; so I used that as a justification --> 'there´s not Internet at that time, what I am going to do?


I am very careful also this doesn´t become an obsession, cause I usually get obsessed when I want things and I participate in this behaviour until I complete or until I get what I want.


So I stopped, I breathe and I start to do my activities. Directing myself to stop this resistances and tiredness within me. 


I forgive  myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in indifference towards myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use indifference as a punishment towards myself; accepting disappointment and feelings of not being able to.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within apathy through my day because I can get what I want.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel apathetic, indifferent and angry when I don´t get what I want; specially something that is going to benefit me within my process.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel with my 'battery-low' cause I was not able to correct myself within this point of my sleep-patterns.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that this is a process and breath by breath I am going to change and not rushing and anticipating so participating in systems like energy, desires and needs and anger and disappointment.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think to much in getting things done instead of walking here; breath, by breath; enjoying my process and not being in control all the time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in constant control over me - meassuring all my movements, words, thoughts, feelings and emotions -. instead of walk this process in Simplicity. enjoying every breath I take and enjoying the correction in every breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am doing something wrong because I cannot change.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to push myself to reach the image I have in my head  of myself without this behaviour.




I stop correcting myself since the Starting Point of Energy, control and abuse to myself. 
I realize I am putting many con-centration in my process and also I am allowing abuse within this. 
I am not enjoying myself walking this process and it shows every time I rush and I force myself to change immediately.
I realize this is a process and I am here walking and self.correcting me in every breath and this takes time.


When and as I see myself rushing and forcing me within this process to attain something since the starting point of a desire and need. I stop, I breathe; I clear myself here and I observe the abuse within this so I breathe and I start from 0 within Simplicity walking within my reality and enjoying my process and enjoying also my self-correction and self-forgiveness.
I don´t take anything personal and I stop all critics to myself. I breathe and I start again correcting myself and enjoying me as everything that is here.
Every time I see myself participating in desperation and in anger I stop; I breathe and I bring myself back here and in Simplicity walk and work with was is here; not taking this so seriously and continue in the next moment; in the next breath here as life, Embracing me! Accepting me.


I commit myself to enjoy process and to live it as something Natural within me, as an expression of myself.
Simple as a breath. Breath by Breath I walk.


Yes, I realize now!
I am in constant control; concentrating in how I have to do my process and that´s why I keep participating in this energy-movements inside me.


I promised myself to not be so hard on myself and Walk this process as a breath, slow myself and in Simplicity participate within my reality.
And because is a process this takes time and dedication and I am here, I am doing it so, I stop punishments towards myself and treat me with that coldness and not trusting myself.