Day # 26 -- " Another opportunity to change"

I have been searching for a job within this days - standing as the decision to do enter to a job and let my crafts for another time, or as a hobby - I have been enjoying this stage within my life and well, life presents other as doors of opportunity to flow and have more assistance and support for and within my reality.
So, I had a good job offer and I started to participate in a lot of emotions and feelings around this; I felt shocked cause I didn´t submitted any CV in the last days  - I was going to start moving that arenas LOL and puff something emerged, just as the last one when I released all the stress and worries and the opportunity arise. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a feeling of excitement and surprise by getting the offer by phone; hearing all the information within emotions and feelings that made me also distract and forget about past-information of my last job, name and e-mail and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get nervous and ashamed by following back-chats saying that I show a lot of emotion when I heard the salary I was going to earn, feeling materialistic instead of facing this in calm and without any energetical movement inside me.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in desires, wants and needs to fulfil my dreams due to this opportunity, accessing my I as consciousness ( seeing with the eyes of consciousness ) anticipating to the future, , accessing to the past and participating in the present as systems. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel the desire and want to scream imagining myself already working there and earning that salary so I can help my mom and support house expenses, participating in imaginations and perceptions about the future.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the Fear of loss system; wanting to make sure at all cost that I was going to get that job  - going from positivity, then negativity and between that, neutrality - then again feeling fear, and sadness if the result is not what I am expecting.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste a lot of energy within this and believing that I could do it to really believe it was happening and also allowing back-chats of " I´ll participate in this only today and then I´ll continue directing, this warrants it", so accepting and allowing abuse and not responsability in directing myself to not feed the systems in me and so all the systems within the world.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be frenetic by going to my closet and not seeing something formal to wear for my interview and so, going into energetical movements as anxiousness, nervousness and anger cause when I am not prepared is when I get this calls or opportunities in short notice.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support the idea and the belief that when I am not prepared I get notices as these one and I don´t have time to calm myself to study the scenarios, possibilities and so being ready; thus I forgive myself that I haven´t realized that I am defining myself as worry, as anxiousness and by time, and ideas and beliefs of needing to be something I am not in this moment. Instead of realizing I am here in every moment and I don´t need preparation or to study anything if I am here as simplicity without any desire, want or need - just me here, constant and in peace moving  myself in the physical as that simple movement of walking, directing myself, communicating and else - within simplicity and no need of systems/energy.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire being someone else; having another type of body, having another way to produce/design myself  as better than me; like changing the way I am as a product I am going to sale for other to buy and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me as a product that is being exchanged by money/reward so, minimizing myself; instead of being proud of myself, be calmed, directive, and stand as Self-Confidence in every breath.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to separate myself within and with this situation instead of being here, clear and embracing everything as me, directing myself to walk as Simplicity and stop systems that instead of supporting me are abusing me as also others at the same time.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into back-chats of not wanting   in fact to get a job because I will miss my free-time. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect job with boredom and negativity.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect sharing this in this moment - before knowing all the information - with fears and negativity, believing that If I share it before I have things done or having things I will not get it, or someone will send me bad-vibes and I am not going to achieve this desire thus, participating in spite, fear of loss and stupidity feeding beliefs and ideas that are pre-programmed and are not real. 


I Stop this. I breathe. I direct myself here. 
When and as I see myself following this behaviours and patterns I stop, I clear myself , I breath and I follow participating in my physical reality. I stop fear of loosing this opportunity.


I bring my participation here, stopping all desires, wants and needs - separation between me and all that is here to support me - and I Stand as Self-Direction, Self-responsability and Simplicity.


I breathe as I walk within my physical reality, as I communicate with others, I am constant within my breath.