lunes, 9 de julio de 2012

Day # 32 - Me without Internet Character.

These days I  have been  without Internet connection - I don´t know what happened...
The Internet connection is not mine, is from my neighbours that 'nicely' let me to connect through their signal. 
And well, these days I was unplugged from this 'world' and I participated in a lot of worries and thoughts  - which I have been directing through writing and breathing - writing in my notebook to follow this journey...
The Characters I saw --was the ones that I recognize very well; the fears, the thoughts, the imaginations and the worries, and throwing me into 'drama'. I am yes, a dramatic character indeed when something is not the way I want.

Today I saw the Internet signal available and well, I´ll write here the context of all of which I have been experiencing these days; all these like a summary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to panic when I don´t have Internet access at home - participating in sadness and in worries when I noticed I was unplugged and without having the opportunity to be plugged and to write in my blog and check my social communities which lead me to blame the system and so the life I have in which I don´t have the money to contract an Internet service for my own and so being without any worries on this matter - instead of being here directing myself in the physical and breathing. I see, realize and understand I don´t 'win' anything making a drama and a tantrum which are just mind egos and a way to abuse myself as life. 
Whenever I see myself participating in these tantrums I direct myself in the physical with the breath and I bring my participating back here to myself and I walk as simplicity and common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in drama/tantrums when something in my reality is not happening as the image and perception I have in my mind, so these leads me to participate in energy reactions and inner-conflicts and so I manifest abuse and separation.
 Whenever I see myself participating in these energy reactions I stop, I direct myself and I stand as self-responsability and common sense and I stop.

I forgive myself that I haven´t  accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand the character I am personifying when I don´t have what I want/desire due to mind images and pictures which is the one I appeal when I was a child when I wanted something and due to these tantrums I always obtain what I wanted from others and so, these character are pre-programmed and induced due to self-interest and mind egos so I can have what my mind dictated me due to wishes/desires/wants.

So; I realize, see and understand how I have created this characters to get what I want due to mind egos and self-interest.

And so, I forgive myself that I  have accepted and allowed myself to have as a trigger point the Internet connection to manifest/create/participate in characters that are just feeding abuse and separation within me instead of being here as the physical and common sense to see, realize and walk the reality-situations in equality and oneness and so, remain here as life to walk and stand as Simplicity. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in inner-conflicts when I don´t have Internet access thinking and believing that I cannot do another thing or t asking myself what I would do without my Internet access - wasting time and breaths in the mind - so compromising life to a tool that is here to support me and to assist me instead of creating a conflict for me. So I realize and understand the pattern of obsessing myself with things that are near me.

I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that by participating in systems as obsessions I am separating me from myself and so from others and from all that is here as myself - I am so, compromising life by defining all/everything and everyone through the mind
So, Whenever I see myself placing things as more than me - and so entering in the obsessed character - I stop; I breathe; I direct myself in the physical and I calm myself. I walk and breath by breath I live.

I realise, see and understand how my mind as me creates relationships with all, everything and everyone due to insecurities and the separation I have allowed within and as myself. 
So I see and face the character that obsesses with all that is here to suck energy and so feed myself as Mind C systems.
I am here as Everything, As Everyone  As ALL - ONE - everything is me and all is here as me.

So I commit myself to move myself as the physical in my reality to see/face that I in every moment I have things to do - but not as separation - but as a realization that everything in the physical need my intervention to make things for what is best for all life. 

I am here as Self-Direction and I continue walking here - no matter what happens so,

I commit myself to continue writing and directing myself even I don´t have Internet in my  house - I commit myself to write and direct myself no matter my mind.

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