Day # 34 -- My Day and my Characters

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think before doing the tasks I have to do - like for example waking up at the time I scheduled for myself today to go out and go with my cousin to give him the crochet-dolls  he asked me to do - allowing and accepting back-chats/thoughts in relation to follow my desires to stay at home and changing all the plan I have due to having as my starting point; laziness and tiredness.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in laziness and tiredness and so use this systems as a back-door/possibility to postpone the things I commit myself to do within my day.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and 'act-out' the lazy character within my life as a method to evade certain situations and experiences in my life - as a protection against physical resistance I have accepted and allowed within and as myself. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist physical movement - participating in tiredness/apathy/laziness. 
I see/realize and understand that this is the consequence of my deliberate participation in my mind and the acceptance of having the mind as my directive principle, instead of being me the Directive Principle and living the discipline as my starting point within every breath.


I realize/see and understand that If I think my mind will give me possibilities, back-doors as back -chats to evade things and 'make-up-my mind' within situations and tasks I have to do. So I Stop my participation in thoughts as ways to hide and evade my reality.
When and as I see myself participating in thoughts - I stop, I breathe and I clear myself. I bring my participation here to the physical and I continue walking as me here in simplicity, in oneness and equality as life - as discipline, as response-ability, in certainty, In the moment as breath.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in my mind as thoughts in relation to wake up and start my day instead of participating as my physical, as substance, as here and so moving myself as an expression - moving as the physical body - moving myself to complete the tasks I have to do and complete within my day.


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/realise and understand that in participating in my mind when and while I am walking during my day I am separating myself in thoughts, feelings and emotions and so accepting and allowing back-chats, back-doors, the possibility to sabotage myself and fall in the same patterns, behaviours and characters I have created to evade my reality and myself.


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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel less than in the moment of talking with my cousin and forgetting about certain words that was giving context to the conversation.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel dumb and thinking my cousins were laughing at me in their minds. 


I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to observe/understand/realize that I was accessing information and knowledge with my mind - so not being here as myself,as the words I was communicating. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within polarities such as inferiority and superiority - I realize it was me that I define the situation as my insecurities and fears and I realize/see and understand that only my mind as egos 'feel' inferior or takes something personal.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me as not effective and intelligent as others - feeling that others make me aside due to the way I communicate and behave. I realize that this fears and insecurities are pre-programmed within myself from past experiences and I am participating in memories and so in mind-time = bringing the past to here. The memories is not who I am and so I let them go and I live here as who I am as equality and oneness.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit my expression due to past memories where I define myself according to the feelings, emotions, thoughts, ideas, and perceptions that I used to define myself due to words others used to tell me - making negative -and also positive -reference to the way my clothes were, to the way my physical body was.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in memories - accessing all the time to the memories I have of myself within and as the past - believing that I am the same according to the Mind C.Systems, I realize, see and understand that who I am is not related/defined to memories and so I am here one and equal to life not defined by memories - of past, present and future -, I am not defined by systems -such as emotions, feelings, thoughts of myself and of others towards myself. 


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me as the one and equal to that girl from the past - so participating in my reality and at the same times in memories, thoughts, feelings and emotions from the past - and so letting them to be the 'judge' of my movements, my looks,, my words - so limiting my expression with memories of the past = not letting me be and express the way I am here as life in every moment of every breath