When I have those dreams with the life style I had I wake up with the feeling-environment in which I participated in the dream
Thoughts, feelings and emotions:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts where I am more happy and peaceful than in my present, moaning and mourning about my old house and then feeling sad and depressed when I see back in my memories, when I was living in that house and all the environment I used to have there.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that peace and happiness exists in a memory in my head.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect past memories with peace, stability and happiness,
Instead of Being stability and self-acceptance within and as myself here. Living here.
I realise, see and understand that I am still living in my mind participating in choices, in mind-scapes --> holding on to mind-dimensions where I can go to hide and so, don´t face myself here in the Presence of myself, being present, being one and equal to myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to moan and mourn towards, in and within my mind in relation to memories - I mean, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to moan and mourn about past experiences, about images in my mind about memories in my head and participate in the 'fear of loss' system.
I realise, see and understand that everything is here, and so I can´t loose anything or anyone - I am not a memory in and of my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare all the things I see and experience in my reality with the past I had, with when I was a child, participating in desires and wants to go there back in time and stay there always in those moments, scenarios and experiences.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be stuck within my mind in past memories, words, and moments; resisting to face what is here as me.
Why I can´t be the same here? Why I feel I was another person in my past and now another one?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist observing, seeing and facing what is here as me, wanting to go back in time and live as I lived in the past perceiving it was better than my present, than Here. I forgive myself that I haven´t accepted and allowed myself to see/understand and admit that I am abusing and separating myself from words and from reality by saying things based in the mind-consciousness-systems and so, not being here as every word I say/express.
When and as I see myself going in my mind to past scenarios and connecting them and comparing them with the things I am doing now - I stop, I breathe and I bring myself back here, I embrace myself and everything that is here.
I realise, see and understand that everything here is ME - so by evading and resisting I am resisting me.
I commit myself to walk here free of any mind system, to see every moment of breath as myself and to live and continue walking within this Journey.
Back-Chats:
*Why this happen to us?
*I want my life to come back
*I don´t like this present.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the back-chat "Why this is happening to us?" referring to the situation where we lost the house where we live in due to money and observing my reality, now and feeling inadequate, feeling disgusted and not satisfied with the present.
I realise, see and understand that this feelings and back-chats has nothing to do with the house or the past memories, it has to be with how I perceive myself to be here in this moment.
When and as I see myself participating in the back-chat "Why this is happening to us?" - I stop, I breathe and I place myself here to investigate within me what I am perceiving, thinking in relation to my present, to myself as the physical. Cause I see that this is not aboy my house is about me.
So I stand as self-honesty to expose all the abuse I am manifesting within and as myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold on to the back-chat "I want my life to come back" feeding the idea/perception that 'I had a life' in the past and what I have here is not life - so participating in polarities and creating mind-dimensions and time loops where I am just abusing myself. Instead of being here as the Presence of me to walk every moment as it is - as me, as life
But; if I don´t accept myself as that; as life I will be walking the same time loop over and over again.
I realise, see and understand that I have to investigate my relation with me not - in the interior of me not using external things to distract of what is here as me.
When and as I see myself participating in this back-chats I stop, I, breathe and I place myself here to investigate why I am accepting and allowing the ideas, thoughts and feelings that the moment here in the presence of me is not 'Life'.
Reactions:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create reactions due to participating in this systems such as desperation, sadness, anger, impatience; where I participate in desires, wants and needs to correct everything I am quickly cause feeling ashamed, inadequate...
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anger, desperation and impatience when I see my reality as me, when I see myself, when I see what I am doing in my life and with my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect reactions as desperation, anger, impatience with my life, and with me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in desires, needs and wants to change me and my life immediately.
I commit myself to stop myself from participating in my mind so I can´t stop me from creating this reaction dimension within me and so to create more systems
When as I see myself, going into a reaction such as anger, desperation and impatience - I stop, I see and realise that this systems exists in my mind and they are not real. So, I place myself here and I continue walking and most of all facing myself as what I am - without regrets.
I see the opportunity to change in every breath, I am the change in every breath.
I commit myself to be the change, the opportunity in every breath to change and so Stopping more dimensions of abuse within and as myself.
I stop blaming me and punishing me when I perceive myself doing something wrong.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive I do things wrong.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I can´t correct myself in the moment.
Is see realise and understand I push myself harder based in the mind, not as a support, No being an unconditional support for me.
Physical Dimension:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create physical reactions such as constriction in my muscles so when I write I feel constrained and I my movements are limited - this due to desperation and impatience.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a physical manifestation of heat, feeling warm, sweating due to the impatience and desperation.
When and as I see myself as this. I breathe and I place myself back here as the physical - in the presence of every movement as myself.
Consequence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create consequence when I act and behave as desperate, angry, anxious and the consequence is me getting a flu or headaches.
I see and realise that when I get sick of flu is because I participated in a lot of impatience and desperation.
I commit myself to stop this pattern within and as myself so I can support my physical body and stop this illness in me and other physical disturbance I create within and as myself due to my participation in this.
Redefining this
When and as I see myself going in to my mind to participate in memories of my past, I stop, I breathe and I place myself here, so I can investigate what situation, experience, thing, person etc is causing me this separation within me.
In this case was the dream I had due to systems related to memories about my childhood years that I miss. But I realise I am the same here and I am not in the presence of myself when I am there.
I commit myself to stand and face myself in every breath, embracing me and continue applying the tools of Writing, self-forgiveness, self correction in the moment to investigate more and more the causes of the separation.
I Place myself here, I face myself and Everything here. I stop Hiding and I walk every situation, experience that arrives here in the Presence of myself, with Self-Responsability, Self-trust, self-confidence. Finding a solution in the moment to stop me from creating dimensions.
I commit myself to be the Solution within and as myself. Be the solution of me as the mind.
--I´ll continue...
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